Question:
Thank you Robert and Bruce for your replies. I let my girls sleep in the living room as we have two sofa and I made it like a sleepover. Its now 4:07am, my oldest (the one with th e bad dream, and by the way she is 6)just woke up for a second and said that she didnt have the dream again. I told her that this would not be a long term thing because she has her own bed and her bed is not what is causing the bad dream. Well I really must depart for now, my coffee awaits. — If the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, then only lefthanded people are in their right mind
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I need some advice. My oldest daughter woke me up this morning around 5:30 >am and said mommy I had a bad dream. Well still being pretty much asleep I >told her to go back to bed and she said I cant I’ll have that dream again. >So I told her she could hop on the couch and watch tv. I never gave much >thought to it after I got up and went about my business. This evening when >it came around time to be getting ready for bed she said mama I don’t want >to sleep in my bed tonight, thats where my bad dream is. I asked her what >the dream was about and she started crying and saying that it was too scary >and yucky. I tried and tried to get it out of her but all she would do is >cry hysterically. I was sooooo freaked out. Finally I said was it yucky as >in blood yucky? She said "YES!" and started crying even harder. I dont >subject my children to questionable material on tv mainly because of that >reason. I don’t know what would make her have such a horrible dream. Is >this normal for children? Its been a while since I was one so I forget. > Your post brought out a very bad dream that I had when I was very > young. I remember how frightened I was and how it affected my life.I > would in your case let your daughter sleep with you, Imho it would > help her through a few nights. I wouldn`t pry into the content of her > dreams but I would just be there and show her love. > Web Page at: http://www.robertpo.com
Response:
> Your post brought out a very bad dream that I had when I was very > young. I remember how frightened I was and how it affected my life.I > would in your case let your daughter sleep with you, Imho it would > help her through a few nights. I wouldn`t pry into the content of her > dreams but I would just be there and show her love. > Web Page at: http://www.robertpo.com
I really think this is the way to go, too. My daughter finds sleeping with me really comforting. I also agree that prying into the content of the dream itself is not important; I would, however, think about what might be stressing her right now, and gently reassure her about whatever it is… Good luck. And I’m sorry. I know how awful it is when your kids are hurting. Hugs to you AND her… Love, Gina
Response:
That is such excellent advice, Robert. The "experts" tell us not to let our children sleep with us. I say bullshit. Amy still climbs into bed with us sometimes. The DOG sleeps with us for crying out loud. And I remember one time I was 17 years old, I had a horrible nightmare (I used to have them regularly). I went downstairs and crawled into bed with my parents. Not a thing wrong with that. Its comforting. Linda Briteyes – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I need some advice. My oldest daughter woke me up this morning around 5:30 >am and said mommy I had a bad dream. Well still being pretty much asleep I >told her to go back to bed and she said I cant I’ll have that dream again. >So I told her she could hop on the couch and watch tv. I never gave much >thought to it after I got up and went about my business. This evening when >it came around time to be getting ready for bed she said mama I don’t want >to sleep in my bed tonight, thats where my bad dream is. I asked her what >the dream was about and she started crying and saying that it was too scary >and yucky. I tried and tried to get it out of her but all she would do is >cry hysterically. I was sooooo freaked out. Finally I said was it yucky as >in blood yucky? She said "YES!" and started crying even harder. I dont >subject my children to questionable material on tv mainly because of that >reason. I don’t know what would make her have such a horrible dream. Is >this normal for children? Its been a while since I was one so I forget. > Your post brought out a very bad dream that I had when I was very > young. I remember how frightened I was and how it affected my life.I > would in your case let your daughter sleep with you, Imho it would > help her through a few nights. I wouldn`t pry into the content of her > dreams but I would just be there and show her love. > Web Page at: http://www.robertpo.com
Response:
it is also totally nessecary! the fear the child has at the time of coming out of it is awfull…there is nothing wrong with a kid jumping in bed with the parent from a bad dream/terror dreams. good luck!
Response:
My child is six. When she is really angry we take deep breaths and blow the "angry bubbles" out of our bodies. Maybe you could do some other silly such thing to "fan" the bad dream away from her bed and out into the sky. I also have no problem with my kid climbing in bed with me. She’ll be on her own before I know it. mimi wishing all sweet dreams:) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I need some advice. My oldest daughter woke me up this morning around 5:30 >am and said mommy I had a bad dream. Well still being pretty much asleep I >told her to go back to bed and she said I cant I’ll have that dream again. >So I told her she could hop on the couch and watch tv. I never gave much >thought to it after I got up and went about my business. This evening when >it came around time to be getting ready for bed she said mama I don’t want >to sleep in my bed tonight, thats where my bad dream is. I asked her what >the dream was about and she started crying and saying that it was too scary >and yucky. I tried and tried to get it out of her but all she would do is >cry hysterically. I was sooooo freaked out. Finally I said was it yucky as >in blood yucky? She said "YES!" and started crying even harder. I dont >subject my children to questionable material on tv mainly because of that >reason. I don’t know what would make her have such a horrible dream. Is >this normal for children? Its been a while since I was one so I forget. >– >If the left side of the brain controls the right >side of the body, then only lefthanded people >are in their right mind
Response:
hey, it is soooo good to hear that things are better! but if by some chance it reoccurs, remember all the posts here and good luck. they sound like real cool kids. i missed out on that one…oh well! bruce.
Response:
After reading all the excellent responses to your question, I have a different thought on this subject. You didn’t speak much about the nature of the dream other than to say it was yucky, like blood or something. I think it is vitally important to discuss the details of her dream in order to understand the exact nature of her fears. Sometimes dreams can be triggered by recent events and other times are triggered by subconscious or subliminal stimuli. The dream she had may have had nothing to do with recent events, but may be based upon some general fears, such as the loss of a parent, or some other major life event. While it is understandable that your first concern should have been to minimize the psychological truama by providing physical comfort, I feel it establishes a dangerous trend and validates or lends credence to her fears by allowing her to deviate from her sleep routine. As I said, this is MY opinion only. I would not presume to tell you how to raise or respond to your children. You did seem to describe her as hysterical, so maybe this was the only solution. I, like others, do not feel it is wrong to allow children to sleep with parents (great show the other night on attachment parenting. dealt with co-sleeping and even breast feeding until 5 or 6 years old), but the situation you described seemed to indicate that she was not in the habit of sleeping with you. IMHO, talking at great length regarding the precise nature of her fears, and attempting to reassure her that her feelings and responses were perhaps normal, but at the same time, attempt to convince her that her fears are groundless. I would be more concerned if the dream was recurring, rather than an isolated instance. I hope I didn’t upset you. My intent was to present a different perspective. I hope she has regained the sleep of the innocent. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >If the left side of the brain controls the right >side of the body, then only lefthanded people >are in their right mind
Response:
Please let me take this time to thank all of my wonderful friends here. You have been such a comfort. My husband came home today from a weeklong hunting trip and managed to talk to her for a little while. She has this one thing she sleeps with everynight, its a glowmicky, you know like a glow worm only its mickey mouse? Well she didnt have that the other night and she said thats was caused her to have the bad dream. I’m not sure if thats it but she was fine last night. I love that beautiful little creature so much and I ache everytime I say a bad word or have to raise my voice to her at all because she will look like I just drove a machede thru her heart. She and her sister are my entire world, the only reason I continue to live. They and my wonderful husband and of course all of my very wonderful friends at alt.support.depression.manic. Thank you. — If the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, then only lefthanded people are in their right mind
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My child is six. When she is really angry we take deep breaths and > blow the "angry bubbles" out of our bodies. Maybe you could do some > other silly such thing to "fan" the bad dream away from her bed and > out into the sky. I also have no problem with my kid climbing in bed > with me. She’ll be on her own before I know it. > mimi > wishing all sweet dreams:) >I need some advice. My oldest daughter woke me up this morning around 5:30 >am and said mommy I had a bad dream. Well still being pretty much asleep I >told her to go back to bed and she said I cant I’ll have that dream again. >So I told her she could hop on the couch and watch tv. I never gave much >thought to it after I got up and went about my business. This evening when >it came around time to be getting ready for bed she said mama I don’t want >to sleep in my bed tonight, thats where my bad dream is. I asked her what >the dream was about and she started crying and saying that it was too scary >and yucky. I tried and tried to get it out of her but all she would do is >cry hysterically. I was sooooo freaked out. Finally I said was it yucky as >in blood yucky? She said "YES!" and started crying even harder. I dont >subject my children to questionable material on tv mainly because of that >reason. I don’t know what would make her have such a horrible dream. Is >this normal for children? Its been a while since I was one so I forget. >– >If the left side of the brain controls the right >side of the body, then only lefthanded people >are in their right mind
Response:
I need some advice. My oldest daughter woke me up this morning around 5:30 am and said mommy I had a bad dream. Well still being pretty much asleep I told her to go back to bed and she said I cant I’ll have that dream again. So I told her she could hop on the couch and watch tv. I never gave much thought to it after I got up and went about my business. This evening when it came around time to be getting ready for bed she said mama I don’t want to sleep in my bed tonight, thats where my bad dream is. I asked her what the dream was about and she started crying and saying that it was too scary and yucky. I tried and tried to get it out of her but all she would do is cry hysterically. I was sooooo freaked out. Finally I said was it yucky as in blood yucky? She said "YES!" and started crying even harder. I dont subject my children to questionable material on tv mainly because of that reason. I don’t know what would make her have such a horrible dream. Is this normal for children? Its been a while since I was one so I forget. — If the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, then only lefthanded people are in their right mind
Response:
you never know where the "bad dream" can come from. i have some experience with this sort of thing and will try to help without being too long or ranting, ok? first, i wish you had posted the age of your daughter. but lets see what we can figure. first off, it came from somewhere, but depending on her view on what she sees and hears it might be hard to find out. it may have been tv…or maybe it is just what she told you, a BAD dream! yukky, makes me assume it is something that grosses her out, so rather than discuss blood, maybe try to just ask her if there is something that she thinks is gross that might be making her have the nightmare. then tell her you are there to help and fight it with her.(not for her). i just wish i knew her age, because if she is very young it may be anything at all, and harder to find the cause. could be something she heard or even overheard someplace..but rather than speculate, let her know you are with her on this "yukky thing" to get it to stop bothering her. hopefully, she wont have the dream anymore, but if she does it is imperative to get the info as she is just coming out of it. before it fades or she decides to not want to face it.(within 10 minuites!). please email me personally to let me know the
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