Question:
My ex tried pulling the same number. It’s a ploy. F – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi – Just thought I would share something and see if anyone has some > help/comments. > I share custody equally with my daughter’s mother. This year she started > school and has been doing well. She’s 5 years old. > Recently her mother has been complaining that she has become overly > clingy with her. Won’t go to sleep at night without her, wakes two or > three times a night call ing for "Mum", and then is real tired in the > morning for school. Her mother also says that our daughter indicates > that she would like to spend more time with her mother. I only hear this > from the mother, not from my daughter. > When my daughter is with me, things are nothing like the above. She is > happy, vibrant (or should I say "seems" happy, etc) Sleeps soundly, goes > to bed early and after we read a book she falls asleep within minutes > and normally sleeps undisturbed. She is happy to be in my home, cuddles > me without a prompt and goes about her own thing when i am not doing > things directly with her. I am re-married and my daughter is fine with > that, there are no other kids, but she has a dog and a cat at my house. > Her mother says she regularly wets the bed at her house but rarely does > it at mine. > Now her mother is pushing for more time with our daughter as she thinks > that would settle her down, and she says, it is what our daughter wants, > again I have heard nothing like that from my daughter’s mouth ( or > actions even). > From my perspective it appears her mother is having more trouble than I > am and more time could only make it worse. I don’t know, it would not > seem logical to send her to more time at her mother’s house, but then > I’m not vain enough to think I’m perfect. > But if my daughter is missing her mother and needing more time with her, > why aren’t I seeing or hearing this at my end. I feel my daughter talks > very well with me, and I don’t think she would hide her feelings. I’m no > ogre or anything that she would feel she couldn’t talk to me. > I encourage her to ring her mother on the phone when ever she wants, but > she rarely wants to. > Any help wold be appreciated . > Thanks > Rod
– | /| |// (o o) | Fred G. Reardon |She had rings on her fingers and bells on | | LMMS Program X |her shoes. I knew without asking she was | | The opinions expressed herein are my own, not of my employer. |
Response:
Perhaps your daughter is reacting to some unexpressed (or expressed) emotional need from her mother. Kids take alot of responsibility for keeping their parents happy, and the pressure they experience has to be released somehow. Maybe Mom needs to be acting differently when she has time with her daughter. Kids can adjust to all kinds of things if parents can avoid using them to meet their own needs. If you think the situation really requires it, take her to speak with a counselor. I wouldn’t just take Mom’s word that your daughter needs more time with her (and hence less time with you), especially since your daughter seems upset when she’s at her mom’s. Keep up the good work and good luck! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi – Just thought I would share something and see if anyone has some > help/comments. > I share custody equally with my daughter’s mother. This year she started > school and has been doing well. She’s 5 years old. > Recently her mother has been complaining that she has become overly > clingy with her. Won’t go to sleep at night without her, wakes two or > three times a night call ing for "Mum", and then is real tired in the > morning for school. Her mother also says that our daughter indicates > that she would like to spend more time with her mother. I only hear this > from the mother, not from my daughter. > When my daughter is with me, things are nothing like the above. She is > happy, vibrant (or should I say "seems" happy, etc) Sleeps soundly, goes > to bed early and after we read a book she falls asleep within minutes > and normally sleeps undisturbed. She is happy to be in my home, cuddles > me without a prompt and goes about her own thing when i am not doing > things directly with her. I am re-married and my daughter is fine with > that, there are no other kids, but she has a dog and a cat at my house. > Her mother says she regularly wets the bed at her house but rarely does > it at mine. > Now her mother is pushing for more time with our daughter as she thinks > that would settle her down, and she says, it is what our daughter wants, > again I have heard nothing like that from my daughter’s mouth ( or > actions even). > From my perspective it appears her mother is having more trouble than I > am and more time could only make it worse. I don’t know, it would not > seem logical to send her to more time at her mother’s house, but then > I’m not vain enough to think I’m perfect. > But if my daughter is missing her mother and needing more time with her, > why aren’t I seeing or hearing this at my end. I feel my daughter talks > very well with me, and I don’t think she would hide her feelings. I’m no > ogre or anything that she would feel she couldn’t talk to me. > I encourage her to ring her mother on the phone when ever she wants, but > she rarely wants to. > Any help wold be appreciated . > Thanks > Rod
Response:
Hi Rod, Sorry to hear of your parenting woes. It is not easy when sharing custody however, you sound like a kind and caring father…so nice to hear. My suggestion would to be to talk to her teacher and see if the teacher has observed any changes and I also suggest the possibility of contacting a counselor and getting an unbiased opinion. It is very possible that all of this is happening and it is also possible that it isn’t…it is also possible that a few things have happened and there is some exaggeration on your ex’s part. Do you have any mutual friends or perhaps ex-in law’s who might have some input? I feel for you and would try to get some other people involved to help solve this dilemma. Good luck to you and your daughter. Debra
Response:
Hi – Just thought I would share something and see if anyone has some help/comments. I share custody equally with my daughter’s mother. This year she started school and has been doing well. She’s 5 years old. Recently her mother has been complaining that she has become overly clingy with her. Won’t go to sleep at night without her, wakes two or three times a night call ing for "Mum", and then is real tired in the morning for school. Her mother also says that our daughter indicates that she would like to spend more time with her mother. I only hear this from the mother, not from my daughter. When my daughter is with me, things are nothing like the above. She is happy, vibrant (or should I say "seems" happy, etc) Sleeps soundly, goes to bed early and after we read a book she falls asleep within minutes and normally sleeps undisturbed. She is happy to be in my home, cuddles me without a prompt and goes about her own thing when i am not doing things directly with her. I am re-married and my daughter is fine with that, there are no other kids, but she has a dog and a cat at my house. Her mother says she regularly wets the bed at her house but rarely does it at mine. Now her mother is pushing for more time with our daughter as she thinks that would settle her down, and she says, it is what our daughter wants, again I have heard nothing like that from my daughter’s mouth ( or actions even). From my perspective it appears her mother is having more trouble than I am and more time could only make it worse. I don’t know, it would not seem logical to send her to more time at her mother’s house, but then I’m not vain enough to think I’m perfect. But if my daughter is missing her mother and needing more time with her, why aren’t I seeing or hearing this at my end. I feel my daughter talks very well with me, and I don’t think she would hide her feelings. I’m no ogre or anything that she would feel she couldn’t talk to me. I encourage her to ring her mother on the phone when ever she wants, but she rarely wants to. Any help wold be appreciated . Thanks Rod
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