Question:
I’LL TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORT , BUT I COULD GO ON FOREVER. MY BOYFRIEND HAS A DAUGHTER, SHE IS 7. MY BOYFRIEND’S MOTHER TOLD HOM TO GET CUSTODY OF HER AND SHE WILL RAISE HIS DAUGHTER, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE KNEW HE WASN’T READY TO RAISE HER. ANYWAY AFTER HE GOT CUSTODY SHE CHANGED HER MIND, SO HE CAME TO ME ,I WASN’T GOING TO TELL HIM HE COULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD, SO I SAID IF YOU WANT KEEP HER FIND BUT DO NOT BRING HER HERE AND DROP HER OFF ON ME AND EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. ANYWAY THAT’S WHAT HE DID HE DOESN’T SPEND TIME WITH HER LIKE HE SHOULD. AND I’M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CORRECTS HER WHEN SHE STEPS OUT OF LINE. HAVINGHER IS LIKE HAVIN TO REAR FROM BIRTH SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TIE HER SHOE SHE DON’T WANT TO TAKE A BATH SHE’S NASTY SHE WOULDN’T FLUSH THE TOLIET WHEN SHE SHE USE IT . THIS WAS EVEN HARDER FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS PREGANT WITH MY FIRST AND THE THOUGHT OF HER BEING A EXMPLE TO MY LITTLE GIRL WAS FRIGHTENING PLEASE HELP E-MAIL ME AT THANKS
Response:
First, turn off the caps lock. Then, make a decision. If you don’t want the kid, you would be doing her a service to let her go on to find someone that cares about her. There’s lots of people that can’t handle children so don’t feel bad if you are one of them. But there’s lots of people that have plenty of spare love in their heart to handle lots of children. Either way, you’d be doing this girl a service to help her find a loving family. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying it is possible and would be worth the effort. Personally, I think anyone that is capable of giving *should* give (their time and effort). But if you’re not in a life position to give, dont’ fret it, because you don’t necessarily meet my qualification (capable of giving). In that case, help the girl find a couple of adults that are capable of giving and turn her over to them. Just some food for thought. Jeff
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’LL TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORT , BUT I COULD GO ON FOREVER. MY BOYFRIEND > HAS A DAUGHTER, SHE IS 7. > MY BOYFRIEND’S MOTHER TOLD HOM TO GET CUSTODY OF HER AND SHE WILL > RAISE HIS DAUGHTER, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE KNEW HE WASN’T READY TO RAISE > HER. > ANYWAY AFTER HE GOT CUSTODY SHE CHANGED HER MIND, SO HE CAME TO ME > ,I WASN’T GOING TO TELL HIM HE COULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD, SO I SAID IF > YOU WANT KEEP HER FIND BUT DO NOT BRING HER HERE AND DROP HER OFF ON ME > AND EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT MY > RESPONSIBILITY. > ANYWAY THAT’S WHAT HE DID HE DOESN’T SPEND TIME WITH HER LIKE HE SHOULD. > AND I’M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CORRECTS HER WHEN SHE STEPS OUT OF LINE. > HAVINGHER IS LIKE HAVIN TO REAR FROM > BIRTH SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TIE HER SHOE SHE DON’T WANT TO TAKE A BATH > SHE’S NASTY SHE WOULDN’T FLUSH THE TOLIET WHEN SHE SHE USE IT . THIS > WAS EVEN HARDER FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS PREGANT WITH MY FIRST AND THE > THOUGHT OF HER BEING A EXMPLE TO MY LITTLE GIRL WAS FRIGHTENING > PLEASE HELP > E-MAIL ME AT > THANKS
Response:
Wow! You might want to post in plain text next time. And when you capitalize your text, it makes us think you are shouting. You sound like you are in quite the predicament. First of all, this 7 year old sounds like a typical 7 year old. Don’t be upset with her. She needs a lot of security and reassurance, especially if she has been passed around like a ping pong ball. How do you feel about your step-daughter? Do you like her, love her or think she is just an annoyance? I’m not an expert in this field, but if the daughter feels like she is a burden to you or your partner she will never feel like she belongs and she will have emotional problems(to say the least). What she needs is a stable family life. If you love your partner, and he has decided to keep his daughter you should support and help him however you can. However, you should talk to your partner about how you feel. Especially if he is not helping out. If he refuses to help out and spend time with his own daughter =doesn’t that worry you about your new one coming along. I am assuming it is his own child. And if not his child, what makes you think he will take care of another child if he can’t take care of the one he already has? Raising children isn’t easy but it ain’t that hard either. If you love them you will do what is best. If you love your partner, help him out. Give him support and encouragement. Suggest you go to family counselling together, do whatever possible to make an already difficult situation a pleasant and rewarding one for you all. If you feel he is using you to take care of his daughter, than tell him how you feel and decide whether or not you would like to continue the relationship. He may be frightened about the whole thing. Raising a child is a big responsibility and it can be very frightening. Good luck. zipper
I’LL TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORT , BUT I COULD GO ON FOREVER. MY BOYFRIEND HAS A DAUGHTER, SHE IS 7. MY BOYFRIEND’S MOTHER TOLD HOM TO GET CUSTODY OF HER AND SHE WILL RAISE HIS DAUGHTER, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE KNEW HE WASN’T READY TO RAISE HER. ANYWAY AFTER HE GOT CUSTODY SHE CHANGED HER MIND, SO HE CAME TO ME ,I WASN’T GOING TO TELL HIM HE COULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD, SO I SAID IF YOU WANT KEEP HER FIND BUT DO NOT BRING HER HERE AND DROP HER OFF ON ME AND EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. ANYWAY THAT’S WHAT HE DID HE DOESN’T SPEND TIME WITH HER LIKE HE SHOULD. AND I’M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CORRECTS HER WHEN SHE STEPS OUT OF LINE. HAVINGHER IS LIKE HAVIN TO REAR FROM BIRTH SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TIE HER SHOE SHE DON’T WANT TO TAKE A BATH SHE’S NASTY SHE WOULDN’T FLUSH THE TOLIET WHEN SHE SHE USE IT . THIS WAS EVEN HARDER FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS PREGANT WITH MY FIRST AND THE THOUGHT OF HER BEING A EXMPLE TO MY LITTLE GIRL WAS FRIGHTENING PLEASE HELP E-MAIL ME AT THANKS
Response:
This is sad…..but it truly sounds to me like neither one of you want this child. I would make damn sure that someone who wanted and appreciated children got to have this child, if I were you. I’m not sure that you even know what that means…..but to make it very simple…..I’d contact the nearest adoption agency and give her to people who knew how to love her. I don’t suppose anyone will think too highly of me for this answer, but it IS how I feel. JMO Josie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >’LL TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORT , BUT I COULD GO ON FOREVER. MY BOYFRIEND >HAS A DAUGHTER, SHE IS 7. > MY BOYFRIEND’S MOTHER TOLD HOM TO GET CUSTODY OF HER AND SHE WILL >RAISE HIS DAUGHTER, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE KNEW HE WASN’T READY TO RAISE >HER. > ANYWAY AFTER HE GOT CUSTODY SHE CHANGED HER MIND, SO HE CAME TO ME >,I WASN’T GOING TO TELL HIM HE COULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD, SO I SAID IF >YOU WANT KEEP HER FIND BUT DO NOT BRING HER HERE AND DROP HER OFF ON ME >AND EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT MY >RESPONSIBILITY. >ANYWAY THAT’S WHAT HE DID HE DOESN’T SPEND TIME WITH HER LIKE HE SHOULD. >AND I’M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CORRECTS HER WHEN SHE STEPS OUT OF LINE. >HAVINGHER IS LIKE HAVIN TO REAR FROM >BIRTH SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TIE HER SHOE SHE DON’T WANT TO TAKE A BATH >SHE’S NASTY SHE WOULDN’T FLUSH THE TOLIET WHEN SHE SHE USE IT . THIS >WAS EVEN HARDER FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS PREGANT WITH MY FIRST AND THE >THOUGHT OF HER BEING A EXMPLE TO MY LITTLE GIRL WAS FRIGHTENING > PLEASE HELP >E-MAIL ME AT >THANKS >Path: >lobby!newstf02.news.aol.com!portc03.blue.aol.com!news.compuserve.com!news
-master.compuserve.com!WCG2!151.164.30.35!cyclone.swbell.net!news.idt.net! hermes.visi.com!news-out.visi.com!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!paloalto-snf 1.gtei.net!news.gtei.net!we – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->btv.net!not-for-mail >Newsgroups: alt.parenting.solutions
Response:
Darlene, You didn’t mention where the child’s birth mother is. Is she in the girl’s life at all? If not, then it’s obvious that this girl is crying for attention…she has all but been abandoned by mother, father, grandmother etc. Her behavior, while a little immature, is pretty understandable. Keep in mind that even negative attentions (your corrections) are better than no attention at all. Try to go easy on her…let her know that at least one adult cares about what happens to her. As far as the rest, I agree with Zipper….I would seriously consider how your boyfriend is treating his daughter and realize that it might eventually be the same for your child. Family counseling might go a long way towards examining the cause of his behavior, and hopefully start you all on the road to a stable, functional family life. Good Luck Marion—Tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Wow! You might want to post in plain text next time. And when you capitalize >your text, it makes us think you are shouting. >You sound like you are in quite the predicament. First of all, this 7 year old >sounds like a typical 7 year old. Don’t be upset with her. She needs a lot of >security and reassurance, especially if she has been passed around like a ping >pong ball. >How do you feel about your step-daughter? Do you like her, love her or think >she is just an annoyance? >I’m not an expert in this field, but if the daughter feels like she is a burden >to you or your partner she will never feel like she belongs and she will have >emotional problems(to say the least). What she needs is a stable family life. >If you love your partner, and he has decided to keep his daughter you should >support and help him however you can. However, you should talk to your partner >about how you feel. Especially if he is not helping out. If he refuses to help >out and spend time with his own daughter =doesn’t that worry you about your new >one coming along. I am assuming it is his own child. And if not his child, >what makes you think he will take care of another child if he can’t take care of >the one he already has? >Raising children isn’t easy but it ain’t that hard either. If you love them you >will do what is best. >If you love your partner, help him out. Give him support and encouragement. >Suggest you go to family counselling together, do whatever possible to make an >already difficult situation a pleasant and rewarding one for you all. >If you feel he is using you to take care of his daughter, than tell him how you >feel and decide whether or not you would like to continue the relationship. He >may be frightened about the whole thing. Raising a child is a big >responsibility and it can be very frightening. >Good luck. >zipper >I’LL TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORT , BUT I COULD GO ON FOREVER. MY BOYFRIEND >HAS A DAUGHTER, SHE IS 7. > MY BOYFRIEND’S MOTHER TOLD HOM TO GET CUSTODY OF HER AND SHE WILL >RAISE HIS DAUGHTER, BECAUSE HE KNEW HE KNEW HE WASN’T READY TO RAISE >HER. > ANYWAY AFTER HE GOT CUSTODY SHE CHANGED HER MIND, SO HE CAME TO ME >,I WASN’T GOING TO TELL HIM HE COULD NOT KEEP HIS CHILD, SO I SAID IF >YOU WANT KEEP HER FIND BUT DO NOT BRING HER HERE AND DROP HER OFF ON ME >AND EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT MY >RESPONSIBILITY. >ANYWAY THAT’S WHAT HE DID HE DOESN’T SPEND TIME WITH HER LIKE HE SHOULD. >AND I’M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CORRECTS HER WHEN SHE STEPS OUT OF LINE. >HAVINGHER IS LIKE HAVIN TO REAR FROM >BIRTH SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TIE HER SHOE SHE DON’T WANT TO TAKE A BATH >SHE’S NASTY SHE WOULDN’T FLUSH THE TOLIET WHEN SHE SHE USE IT . THIS >WAS EVEN HARDER FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS PREGANT WITH MY FIRST AND THE >THOUGHT OF HER BEING A EXMPLE TO MY LITTLE GIRL WAS FRIGHTENING > PLEASE HELP >E-MAIL ME AT >THANKS
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