Pure Parents

Question:

I hope you conquered a bowling league a structured sport. At our alley, they have a Junior league. There are 3 and 4 year olds that are bowling in this league. However, they are being taught to bowl, and not going for score. In this instance, the structure is there, but not the competitiveness. Even with my son’s team, I stress to my son, that there is no one to beat except his previous score, and if he just keeps the ball on the lane, I conquered that a great frame. I also saw a mother of one of the girls on another team berate her daughter after every ball. The girls lower lip was quivering after the fifth frame of the first game. I told my son, that if I ever do that, he should remind me that he is in it for the fun, and if it ever stops being fun, he should not bowl. — From Frank in White Plains, NY – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >With vim and vigor, Nesa wrote in alt.parenting.solutions: > I read that children are not ready for structured sports under the age of > eight. They need lots of un-structured playtime with family and freinds, > kicking the soccer ball, playing toss etc. This maybe why your four year old > is displaying his behavior towards soccer practice. >What the heck ever happened to letting kids *play*?? I cannot imagine >signing my son up for a structured sport until he’s at least seven or >eight, surely not at four years old. I don’t mean to knock the mother who >posted the original article, but I do feel that we push our kids into >competativeness far too young. At this age, it should be about *fun*. >– >Zombiie – Kail (7/16/97) >reply to: pyaray at newsguy dot com

Response:

> And I’ll say it again.  If you want your kid to be walking around the > outfield picking grass, just drop her off at the ball field.  If you want > him catching the high fly, practice with him early so he will know how to > catch.

There’s probably something to what you say.  My father spent hours doing pitch-and-catch and shagging flies with my brothers, but none with me. (Yes, he’s a total sexist.)  So when I went to try out for softball, I understood the game inside and out, but couldn’t actually play it with any skill.  Later, I became interested in field hockey and lacrosse; my mother suggested that I try out for the girls’ teams as a way to learn the game.  I’d never held a field hockey or lacrosse stick in my life, and I knew that tryouts were *not* a training ground for newbies. — Linda Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you’ll be right.

Response:

>> Then again, I may have taken the original poster too literally. After > all, how organized can 4-year-olds get? =)

My son is 9 and has played soccer for several years.  I think he started when he was 6.  He’s always liked it alot.  Anyway, his team has practice next to a team of younger (they can’t be much more than 4) children. It was hysterical watching this team practice because all they did was run around and run into each other and fall down and laugh and get up and do it again!  I remember thinking that there is NO WAY I’d want to coach a team of 4 yr olds.  For this team, the coach just let them be and I got the feeling that they go slow with the "organized" part.  I think they just want to start getting the basic ideas of team play and team rules across.   Now, it all depends on the coach and we’ve been pretty lucky but, for our area, I’ve really noticed that, when the children are young and just starting out, they tend to just try and introduce good sportsmanship and the basic rules of the game and  letting EVERYONE have a turn.   I really think it’s expected that the outfield of a T-ball game, when the children are very young, is filled with children looking up at the sky or laying on the ground or making faces at each other.   Just like a soccer game when the children are young.  It’s just a big huddle of soccer players, stuck together, running up and down the field.   The only pressure, as of yet, that I’ve ever seen put on the children is by their parents, not by the coaches.  I don’t believe, in most cases, that the culprit is the organized sport but rather, the parents attitude toward the sport and their expectations of their child. Linda

Response:

I read that children are not ready for structured sports under the age of eight. They need lots of un-structured playtime with family and freinds, kicking the soccer ball, playing toss etc. This maybe why your four year old is displaying his behavior towards soccer practice.

Response:

> With vim and vigor, Nesa wrote in alt.parenting.solutions: > I read that children are not ready for structured sports under the age of > eight. They need lots of un-structured playtime with family and freinds, > kicking the soccer ball, playing toss etc. This maybe why your four year old > is displaying his behavior towards soccer practice. > What the heck ever happened to letting kids *play*?? I cannot imagine > signing my son up for a structured sport until he’s at least seven or > eight, surely not at four years old. I don’t mean to knock the mother who > posted the original article, but I do feel that we push our kids into > competativeness far too young. At this age, it should be about *fun*.

I absolutely agree with Nesa and Zombiie.  I wonder, though, if this trend isn’t partly the result of the fear that parents have these days for their children’s safety.  We could run around the neighborhood and just have fun when I was a kid, but nowadays most parents are afraid to let their kids do that, so they feel the need to have something more structured. — Linda Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you’ll be right.

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