Pure Parents

Question:

=> =>THANKS for the credit to most everyone in the debate. =>HOWEVER, I thought we explained why "pro-spanker" was an offensive term: do =>you not understand, or are you trying to be inflamatory??? I am not trying to be inflammatory. But "pro spanking" means only someone who approves of spanking. Frankly, if we start to use "choice spanker" someone will take offense to that, too. So please take it for what it is – no flame, no insult, just a description that was OK here until someone took offense a couple of days ago. => =>> Good Luck with the Parenting thing. . . => =>The guy who posted needs alot more than "luck" You got *that* right, Amy! Good Luck with the Parenting thing. . . Greg Lubianetzky Father to the world’s 2 Greatest Kids!  ;-}

Response:

> =>THANKS for the credit to most everyone in the debate. > =>HOWEVER, I thought we explained why "pro-spanker" was an offensive term: do > =>you not understand, or are you trying to be inflamatory??? > I am not trying to be inflammatory. But "pro spanking" means only someone > who approves of spanking. Frankly, if we start to use "choice spanker" > someone will take offense to that, too. So please take it for what it is – > no flame, no insult, just a description that was OK here until someone > took offense a couple of days ago.

I believe it’s customary for respectful people to call others what they wish to be called. I’ve yet to see anyone be offended by the term "choice-spanker", but I have seen at least 3 post who are offended by "pro-spanker". Why can’t you change? Some do not believe it properly describes them, just as African Americans decided that "black" or "colored" doesn’t properly describe them. African Americans might change their minds again, and because I respect their wishes, I will change. If you wish to be called another name, I’ll be glad to change as well. You have the patience to spend hours on end instructing an infant; surely you have the patience to correct this. Amy "Chance favors the prepared"

Response:

<snip> > Yes, full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes! Wow, you thumb your nose at > every aspect of society laid down to protect our children from abuse. You > excuse abuse by saying you have a "reason" to abuse. And you say if > society comes to the rescue of your child, stick to your guns man. "Ain’t > NOBODY gonna tell ME how to treat my kids!" Sorry my friend, I don’t think > you’ll get sympathy from *anyone* here. I believe the non-spankers *and* > pro-spankers on this group have more sensibility than this.

THANKS for the credit to most everyone in the debate. HOWEVER, I thought we explained why "pro-spanker" was an offensive term: do you not understand, or are you trying to be inflamatory??? > Good Luck with the Parenting thing. . .

The guy who posted needs alot more than "luck" Amy "Chance favors the prepared"

Response:

=> =>    Respect is the keyword here . It’s your house , you pay the bills , =>you make the rules . When you see your child Disrespecting you openly , =>blowing off your rules and useing your house as nothing more than a bed =>and breakfast . You need to do something to get his attenion . This can be =>throwing all of his clothes ( Which you bought ) out in the yard . Or you =>can put your child over your knee and paddle his butt . Interesting, though obviously flawed concept. You try to teach your child to *respect* you by paddling his butt? You may encourage *fear* of you, or confusion about how his beloved parent could hurt him. It still baffles me how you garner respect from your kids by paddling their butts. To earn respect you must give respect. Not Paddlings. => =>    In a situation where the druggangs are involved , throwing your kids =>clothes out in the street wont work . He’ll just drop out of school and =>live with the members of the gang . This puts you in the situation of =>identifing his bleeding corpse in the county morge . Or , you can explain =>to your child that you have had enough of his attitude and disrespect of =>you . Then to drive the point home , put him ( Or her ) over your knee and =>give them something to remember the lecture with . At the age of puberty =>there is incredible " peer pressure " to assert your independence from =>your parents . At this age the one thing most respected by most children =>is the willingness to use physical force . The children dont care about =>your authority . They only care about ( and respect ) physical power . They do care about and respect when *they* are given power, but they only deny, misunderstand and disrespect when you abuse *your* power as a parent by hitting and hurting them. => =>    There IS a difference between Discipline and abuse , The differences =>are 1 ) Control ( Yours ) . 2 ) Reason ( His ) …. => =>    Abuse is when you strike your child for no reason . Discipline is when =>you punish for wrong doing . Another interesting but flawed concept! What "reasons" do you define as suitable for abusing your children? If you abusively strike your child, but have a "reason", then this is no longer abuse? This is what you say here, but surely you  cannot mean it that way. And dont EVER apoligize for punishing your =>child , not to another parent , not to a " social worker " , not to a =>judge , jury , or anyone else . If you dont teach your child how to behave =>in Society , Then he wont be a part of it . He’ll be in jail , or DEAD . Yes, full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes! Wow, you thumb your nose at every aspect of society laid down to protect our children from abuse. You excuse abuse by saying you have a "reason" to abuse. And you say if society comes to the rescue of your child, stick to your guns man. "Ain’t NOBODY gonna tell ME how to treat my kids!" Sorry my friend, I don’t think you’ll get sympathy from *anyone* here. I believe the non-spankers *and* pro-spankers on this group have more sensibility than this. Good Luck with the Parenting thing. . . Greg Lubianetzky Father to the world’s 2 Greatest Kids!  ;-}

Response:

    One of the things you need to understand is that from a childs point of view , All grown ups are out of touch , or just plain stupid . This attitude is prevailent in the innercity where Drug gangs have replaced the family as the main teachers of what is right and wrong .     When you have a Child that doesn’t listen to what you say , doesn’t obey your rules , and refuses to cooperate with and support your family : The Child doesn’t RESPECT you .     Respect is the keyword here . It’s your house , you pay the bills , you make the rules . When you see your child Disrespecting you openly , blowing off your rules and useing your house as nothing more than a bed and breakfast . You need to do something to get his attenion . This can be throwing all of his clothes ( Which you bought ) out in the yard . Or you can put your child over your knee and paddle his butt .     In a situation where the druggangs are involved , throwing your kids clothes out in the street wont work . He’ll just drop out of school and live with the members of the gang . This puts you in the situation of identifing his bleeding corpse in the county morge . Or , you can explain to your child that you have had enough of his attitude and disrespect of you . Then to drive the point home , put him ( Or her ) over your knee and give them something to remember the lecture with . At the age of puberty there is incredible " peer pressure " to assert your independence from your parents . At this age the one thing most respected by most children is the willingness to use physical force . The children dont care about your authority . They only care about ( and respect ) physical power .     There IS a difference between Discipline and abuse , The differences are 1 ) Control ( Yours ) . 2 ) Reason ( His ) ….     Abuse is when you strike your child for no reason . Discipline is when you punish for wrong doing . And dont EVER apoligize for punishing your child , not to another parent , not to a " social worker " , not to a judge , jury , or anyone else . If you dont teach your child how to behave in Society , Then he wont be a part of it . He’ll be in jail , or DEAD .

Response:

I just wanted to say that this newsgroup can be so damn fantastic and so *&%$ enfuriating.  I love it when I have a concern, and people share their experiences with me.  It’s comforting.   I also love to be able to ease someone else’s mind (knowing that too upset me back then and I lived thru it).   Why must some people ATTACK others instead of just discussing ideas? Please!  The holidays are coming up.  Let’s all be humane to each other?

Response: