Question:
If you want your child to learn about the Titanic why don’t you try watching a documentary about the ship? A&E has a 4 hour series that is now on video. It’s excellent. It’s accurate, interesting, and informative. Michelle
Response:
>And if some of you are surprised I’d let her see Titanic, I’m surprised some of >you would let your child see nude bodies in movies.
This has always confused me – why is there so much worry about nude bodies in films, but not violence and nastiness? I personally don’t see a whole lot wrong with a child seeing a nude body, but I don’t want my kids watching violent films, (even some of the cartoons are too violent.)
Response:
Well, seeing as I don’t have a crystal ball and can’t tell the future, I can only choose what movies my daughter sees now based on my interpretation of her maturity level and past experience in how she has handled movies as she has grown older. I trust my ability in previewing movies and the fact that I’ve known her for 6 1/2 years to guide me in my decisions on her movie watching. This is still Deb, replying from her other email address. Deb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->When I was in my teens, I appeared to "handle" all >those slasher movies and let’s throw in a couple of demonic ones. Yep, I was >fine as can be. In my case, I had all the obvious sypmtoms, only not right >away. In my 20’s I was *still* having nightmares. >But doesn’t it go beyond whether or not a child appears to "handle" it? I >agree that each child is different and can take different things but isn’t >there more to deciding whether a child can "handle" it than just what we see, >as a result, in their behavior? Aren’t there indirect effects to what they >see?
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > This is Deb, replying from her other email address. > As I said before, I would hope each parent knows what their child can handle. > My daughter knows movies aren’t real, she knows they are stories and the actors > are acting them out. If there happens to be one or two scenes in an otherwise > acceptable movie (to us), then we will ask our daughter to close her eyes. We > will be asking her to close her eyes during the sex scene and the nude drawing > scene in Titanic. > As for the dead people floating in the water, once again, she will know it is > not real. Just like she knows there are no such things as Borg, that when the > people got shot on Air Force One they used fake bullets and fake blood (she > calls it ketchup) and that there are no such things like the aliens in Men In > Black.
Deb, With all due respect, what happened in the Titanic *was* real in a sense. It told a true story. How will you explain that to your daughter? The *movie* isn’t real, but it tells story that really happened. ??? I found the movie haunting. The love story was trendy fluff, and unbelieveable in my mind, but the terror that those people must have felt in the last moments of their lives remains with me. I would hide my child’s eyes from that thought before I’d hide a nude body from her. Laurie
Response:
>Our toddler is having trouble sleeping, apparently because she caught some of >a >Scooby Doo cartoon.
Scooby Doo can be a scary cartoon! My son was afraid of it too. Linda C.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This is Deb, replying from her other email address. > As I said before, I would hope each parent knows what their child can handle. > My daughter knows movies aren’t real, she knows they are stories and the >actors > are acting them out. If there happens to be one or two scenes in an otherwise > acceptable movie (to us), then we will ask our daughter to close her eyes. We > will be asking her to close her eyes during the sex scene and the nude drawing > scene in Titanic. > As for the dead people floating in the water, once again, she will know it is > not real. Just like she knows there are no such things as Borg, that when the > people got shot on Air Force One they used fake bullets and fake blood (she > calls it ketchup) and that there are no such things like the aliens in Men In > Black.
I can understand the fact that children can grasp the idea of things not being real in movies/tv. We watch tv and videos with our children and point out things that are "movie magic" and not real. It is another thing to become "caught up" in a film and start "believing" what you are seeing. I do this all the time and I am a 36 year old adult. I think it is awfully hard for a child to pull themselves back from the story enough to think–"Oh, that was not real" while they are watching it. When I was a teenager my younger brother (8 years old) REALLY wanted to see Jaws, so I told him I would take him. We weren’t in that movie 15 minute (if I remember correctly) when he became frightened and wanted to leave. I did not want to leave and told him it would be OK and things would be alright in the end and made him stay and watch with me. BIG mistake. He was afraid of the water at the beach for years after and had nightmares for many nights after we saw it. I learned a couple of big lessons with that movie–check out what you are seeing when kids are involved, and if after doing that, you take them, and they are uncomfortable–leave. We have had to leave movies twice so far (out of 4 movies we’ve taken our 4 1/2 year old to). Had to leave when we got to the part at Sid’s house in Toy Story and had to leave during the opening credits of Star Wars (too loud)–which he has seen at home on video many times. -Suzi in Chapel Hill – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Deb, >With all due respect, what happened in the Titanic *was* real in a >sense. It told a true story. How will you explain that to your >daughter? The *movie* isn’t real, but it tells story that really >happened. ??? >I found the movie haunting. The love story was trendy fluff, and >unbelieveable in my mind, but the terror that those people must have >felt in the last moments of their lives remains with me. >I would hide my child’s eyes from that thought before I’d hide a nude >body from her. >Laurie
Response:
>>We will be asking her to close her eyes during the sex scene and the nude
drawing scene in Titanic. As for the dead people floating in the water, once again, she will know it is not real. Just like she knows there are no such things as Borg, that when the people got shot on Air Force One they used fake bullets and fake blood (she calls it ketchup) and that there are no such things like the aliens in Men In Black. << I think you’re way off. There ARE such things as dead people floating, and they are realistically portrayed. I’m not so sure there IS such a thing as enjoyable sex in the back of an old time car, but anyway, these things are not the same as depicting hostile robots or rampaging modern dinosaurs. This is an immense human tragedy with lovable people enduring the torture of knowing an inevitable painful death is fast approaching. I suppose that describes all of us every day, but I wouldn’t bring my kindergartner down by rubbing it in her face. Our toddler is having trouble sleeping, apparently because she caught some of a Scooby Doo cartoon. I can’t imagine why anyone who’s uptight about a little non-contact nudity would want to needlessly traumatize a kid with the anguished depiction of very real, very powerful suffering. If not for the love angle, what’s the point? I worship the film. I hope every human sees it; when they’re ready. – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity. Brevity is the height of clarity. non-commercial e-mail always welcome
Response:
I never thought my letting my daughter see Titanic when it comes out on tape would raise so much discussion! She doesn’t need to know now that these people really died. When she’s older and learns the history of the Titanic, then she’ll know it’s real. And if some of you are surprised I’d let her see Titanic, I’m surprised some of you would let your child see nude bodies in movies. This is the last I’m posting on this – I know my daughter and I know what she can handle. I don’t need the entire newsgroup telling me how I should raise my daughter or choosing what movies she should see. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->With all due respect, what happened in the Titanic *was* real in a >sense. It told a true story. How will you explain that to your >daughter? The *movie* isn’t real, but it tells story that really >happened. ??? >I found the movie haunting. The love story was trendy fluff, and >unbelieveable in my mind, but the terror that those people must have >felt in the last moments of their lives remains with me. >I would hide my child’s eyes from that thought before I’d hide a nude >body from her.
Response:
>Crikey Linda, Now I have gotten it wrong. My post was not aimed at you just >for >a bit of support to Deb. What you said seemed fine to me and was the prompt >for >the rest of the stuff I sent. >As you know I would have emailed you if I had thought that what you had said >was out of order. But I didn’t so I didn’t.
LOL! I guess we both took each other wrong. As far as e-mailing me, I don’t feel the same way you do about that. Feel free to say whatever you want to say in the Newsgroup. If you misunderstood me then maybe other people did too and it gives me the chance to clear it up. Linda C.
Response:
>I never said that Deb wasn’t quite able to decide what is best for her little >one. I was just wondering and asking what people think it means when they >say >their child can "handle" a movie.
But I will add that I do believe certain movies are not good for any 7 yr old to see. I guess that could translate into "I don’t think Deb knows what’s good for her child" but I don’t mean it in a personal way. We all disagree with each other at times but it doesn’t have to mean that we think the other person doesn’t, as a whole, know what’s best for their child. Linda C.
Response:
This is Deb, replying from her other email address. As I said before, I would hope each parent knows what their child can handle. My daughter knows movies aren’t real, she knows they are stories and the actors are acting them out. If there happens to be one or two scenes in an otherwise acceptable movie (to us), then we will ask our daughter to close her eyes. We will be asking her to close her eyes during the sex scene and the nude drawing scene in Titanic. As for the dead people floating in the water, once again, she will know it is not real. Just like she knows there are no such things as Borg, that when the people got shot on Air Force One they used fake bullets and fake blood (she calls it ketchup) and that there are no such things like the aliens in Men In Black. Quite interestingly, she has not seen Jurassic Park. That movie scared me! It will be a few years yet before we let her see that. She has no nightmares, never has in relation to a movie. She’s quite mature and I would never let her see a movie that I thought wasn’t appropriate for her see. Yes, my original post was quite vague and open to all kinds of interpretation. I’m not sure if this is clearer – all I know is, I know my daughter and I know what she can "handle". Deb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->What does it mean to say that a seven year old ‘can handle’ watching >dead mothers clutching their gray dead infants floating quite >realitistically among other quite real looking corpses, small children >abandoned to their fate and screaming as they are trapped and drowned, >fathers left to die while their wives and children are saved? I find >it a tad scarey that anyone would raise a child who at 7 would not >be profoundly disturbed by that. What possible good does it do a >child to expose it to brutality and death at a young age and as >entertainment at that?
Response:
>That said, my daughter is 6 and can handle lot of different kinds of >movies – she has seen Men In Black, Star Trek: First Contact, Contact, >Air Force One, etc. I will have no qualms about letting her see Titanic >when it comes out on tape. She will probably be 7 by then. Each child >is different and I hope most parents know what their children can >handle. >That said, 
, I wouldn’t take any child of any age, no matter how well >they handle movies, to the theater to see Titanic. It’s just too long! >Deb
What exactly do people mean when they say their children can handle a movie? I’m wondering how parents know their children are not effected by the movies they see? Are they only looking for the very obvious and direct symptoms like nightmares and such? For me, I don’t base it on whether or not my son can sit through the movie and appear to "handle" it. When I was in my teens, I appeared to "handle" all those slasher movies and let’s throw in a couple of demonic ones. Yep, I was fine as can be. In my case, I had all the obvious sypmtoms, only not right away. In my 20’s I was *still* having nightmares. But doesn’t it go beyond whether or not a child appears to "handle" it? I agree that each child is different and can take different things but isn’t there more to deciding whether a child can "handle" it than just what we see, as a result, in their behavior? Aren’t there indirect effects to what they see? Linda C.
Response:
(Jme0924) writes: >But doesn’t it go beyond whether or not a child appears to "handle" it? I >agree that each child is different and can take different things but isn’t >there more to deciding whether a child can "handle" it than just what we see, >as a result, in their behavior? Aren’t there indirect effects to what they >see?
I am sure Deb is quite able to decide what is best for her little one. It was maybe one of those postings that was too open to interpretation. I base my children’s ability to handle it on what they understand and what it means to them. Also I use my ability to explain the truth behind a movie. An important factor would also be what the enjoyment content is as opposed to the negative. Titanic is one of those films (I have not seen it) I guess it is still the same old Titanic story with a love element thrown in. So what can be gained by a child watching this movie? At pre puberty they are probably way too immature to understand the love element at that sort of intense level so we have the bog standard disaster movie with all the up to date, in your face special effects. I can’t see what any of my children would have to gain from seeing 1500 people dying in graphic detail. As enjoyment I am sure they would still take a Disney Cartoon anyday or maybe Flubber for example. To take the kids to see Titanic when Flubber is at the same cinema would be probably an act based on the will of the parents as opposed to the needs of the child. As for Men in Black. Yes there is some horror in there for the small child so prepare them before you go. Find out the end before you go. I know it spoils it for the adult a bit but not half as much as walking out with a screaming child who has fallen for leordo’s charms only to see him drown to death! (A guess, I really have not seen the film). We spent several weeks teaching our children about dinosaurs before Jurassic park and when they went to see it they commented on how life like they had got the dinosaurs and how glad they were that Dinosaurs were long since extinct. So on that I think we can safely say they were unfazed. Our only mistake was Casper! We honestly thought that as this was just a cartoon charecter they would be fine about it. They watched it all the time on TV and though it was really funny. It gave our two girls nightmares for months! This film got the unclassified rating as suitable for all. I guess you never can be 100% sure, can you? Steve Williams http://members.aol.com/sjw1963
Response:
> We never take our daughter to a movie without seeing it first. > That said, my daughter is 6 and can handle lot of different kinds of > movies – she has seen Men In Black, Star Trek: First Contact, Contact, > Air Force One, etc. I will have no qualms about letting her see Titanic > when it comes out on tape. She will probably be 7 by then. Each child > is different and I hope most parents know what their children can > handle. > That said, , I wouldn’t take any child of any age, no matter how well > they handle movies, to the theater to see Titanic. It’s just too long! > Deb
What does it mean to say that a seven year old ‘can handle’ watching dead mothers clutching their gray dead infants floating quite realitistically among other quite real looking corpses, small children abandoned to their fate and screaming as they are trapped and drowned, fathers left to die while their wives and children are saved? I find it a tad scarey that anyone would raise a child who at 7 would not be profoundly disturbed by that. What possible good does it do a child to expose it to brutality and death at a young age and as entertainment at that? I am sure that the parents who hauled the 3 year old into Seven were aware of what their child ‘could handle.’ Wonder what kind of experiences he had had before then. k
Response:
>But doesn’t it go beyond whether or not a child appears to "handle" it? I >agree that each child is different and can take different things but isn’t >there more to deciding whether a child can "handle" it than just what we >see, >as a result, in their behavior? Aren’t there indirect effects to what they >see? >I am sure Deb is quite able to decide what is best for her little one. It was >maybe one of those postings that was too open to interpretation.
I never said that Deb wasn’t quite able to decide what is best for her little one. I was just wondering and asking what people think it means when they say their child can "handle" a movie. I liked what you had to offer about that, Steve, and I’m glad you took the time to share it. I do sometimes wish, though, that you would stop deciding how people should or shouldn’t take a post. Whether they have taken it out of context or not or whether they are nit picking or not. Maybe you should have e-mailed me, as you like people to do with you , if you were unclear about my response to Deb. Linda C.
Response:
(Jme0924) writes: > I do sometimes wish, though, that you would stop deciding how people should >or >shouldn’t take a post. Whether they have taken it out of context or not or >whether they are nit picking or not. Maybe you should have e-mailed me, as >you >like people to do with you , if you were unclear about my response to Deb.
Crikey Linda, Now I have gotten it wrong. My post was not aimed at you just for a bit of support to Deb. What you said seemed fine to me and was the prompt for the rest of the stuff I sent. You are quite right I do go on a bit about things being taken out of context. Maybe I just like being understood and I get to defensive in advance of a possible attack! As you know I would have emailed you if I had thought that what you had said was out of order. But I didn’t so I didn’t. Steve Williams http://members.aol.com/sjw1963
Response:
We never take our daughter to a movie without seeing it first. That said, my daughter is 6 and can handle lot of different kinds of movies – she has seen Men In Black, Star Trek: First Contact, Contact, Air Force One, etc. I will have no qualms about letting her see Titanic when it comes out on tape. She will probably be 7 by then. Each child is different and I hope most parents know what their children can handle. That said, , I wouldn’t take any child of any age, no matter how well they handle movies, to the theater to see Titanic. It’s just too long! Deb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I am probably preaching to the choir since any parent > who actually reflects on parenting [by, for example, > reading a parenting newsgroup] could hardly be so > stupid as to take a small child to this movie BUT > here goes anyway: > We attended Titanic at 5 pm on Sunday, yesterday. > Behind us was a parent with a child about 4 — 5 at > the oldest with her dolly. To our right sat a > 5 or 6 year old and there were at least another half > dozen small children in the theater. > It shouldn’t take a genius to know that a story > that involves 1500 people brutally dying is not > going to be appropriate for small children — but > that doesn’t seem to stop parents from taking them. > This film shows small children abandoned and > drowning in corridors, bodies floating inside > the ship, small children with their mothers awaiting > death trapped in the ship, children weeping as > their fathers are left to die, corpses of infants > grey and lifeless floating with their dead mothers > as well as countless other corpses, including that > of the star sinking out of sight into the depths. > The kids near us were visibly upset — in addition to > the irritation of parents ‘explaining’ each step of > a picture far too complex for kids — we had to hear > the parents later explaining away the carnage. > ‘he’s sleeping’. Irritating as it was for us, think > how damaging it must be for the kids. > What motivates parents to subject children to experiences > that are so clearly inappropriate?
Response:
I saw that too when we went to see it. I couldn’t believe that a woman was bringing her child, Dylan’s age (18mos) into the movie. Not to mention the countless other number of children that came into the theater. I cringed when the woman with the little child walked by and silently prayed "not by me, not by me" I just didn’t want her sitting next to me for exactly the reasons you describe (plus others having a child that small). We went to the show that started at 1:05pm – that meant having our babysitter at our house at about noon. Then the movie lasted til after 4pm by the time we got home it was close to six – I ended up giving her a $20. So you can see that for dh and I to go to that movie it costs, but there is no way I would SUBJECT my child to sitting through a movie that long and with that content. I don’t even think I would’ve taken my 9 year old to it. They simply shouldn’t be expected to sit that long. — – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am probably preaching to the choir since any parent > who actually reflects on parenting [by, for example, > reading a parenting newsgroup] could hardly be so > stupid as to take a small child to this movie BUT > here goes anyway: > We attended Titanic at 5 pm on Sunday, yesterday. > Behind us was a parent with a child about 4 — 5 at > the oldest with her dolly. To our right sat a > 5 or 6 year old and there were at least another half > dozen small children in the theater. > It shouldn’t take a genius to know that a story > that involves 1500 people brutally dying is not > going to be appropriate for small children — but > that doesn’t seem to stop parents from taking them. > This film shows small children abandoned and > drowning in corridors, bodies floating inside > the ship, small children with their mothers awaiting > death trapped in the ship, children weeping as > their fathers are left to die, corpses of infants > grey and lifeless floating with their dead mothers > as well as countless other corpses, including that > of the star sinking out of sight into the depths. > The kids near us were visibly upset — in addition to > the irritation of parents ‘explaining’ each step of > a picture far too complex for kids — we had to hear > the parents later explaining away the carnage. > ‘he’s sleeping’. Irritating as it was for us, think > how damaging it must be for the kids. > What motivates parents to subject children to experiences > that are so clearly inappropriate?
Response:
In the UK Titanic has been given a 12 certificate which requires all those present to be over the age of 12. Steve Williams http://members.aol.com/sjw1963
Response:
>In the UK Titanic has been given a 12 certificate which requires all those >present to be over the age of 12.
Even if they are with a parent? In the US even rated R movies can be viewed by kids under 18 if they are with a parent. So that doesn’t help when the parents are stupid enough to bring the kids!! When I saw Titanic, there was a woman with a newborn in front of us and I was shocked. It is a really long movie and extremely loud. Every time the action got really loud I cringed and wondered what it must be doing to the baby’s ears!! Duhhhh! Dawn (Taylor and Mackenzie’s mom)
Response:
(BDTNM04) writes: >In the UK Titanic has been given a 12 certificate which requires all those >present to be over the age of 12. >Even if they are with a parent?
The 12 cetificate requires that children and adults over 12 ‘only’ can watch that film. The only certificates allowing younger children are PG-parental guidance (must be accompanied) and U-unclassified (suitable for all) Steve Williams http://members.aol.com/sjw1963
Response:
| >In the UK Titanic has been given a 12 certificate which requires all those | >present to be over the age of 12. | | Even if they are with a parent? In the US even rated R movies can be viewed by | kids under 18 if they are with a parent. So that doesn’t help when the parents | are stupid enough to bring the kids!! Don’t know exactly how it works in the UK, but here in Norway some of the ratings exclude children under a certain age regardless of whether the children are accompanied by their parents or not. "Titanic" got a 15 rating. If i remember correctly (since i only have a 4YO this isn’t exactly relevant to me!) that means no one under 15 admitted, period. Sometimes there will be a note that says "rated 15, children 10 and up admitted with parent or guardian". Actually with all the extra notes that can be added, the system gets pretty complicated… In any case i’m certain that this means the movie theaters are not supposed to admit anyone younger than 10, at least. – Cindy Kandolf, mamma to Kenneth (4 years) Bilingual Families Web Page: http://www.nethelp.no/cindy/biling-fam.html
Response:
>The 12 cetificate requires that children and adults over 12 ‘only’ can watch >that film. The only certificates allowing younger children are PG-parental >guidance (must be accompanied) and U-unclassified (suitable for all
Neat. I think that is a good idea. Like I said, here in the US, they give the ratings, but if a parent or "legal guardian" is with the kid, they can still get in. That kinda defeats the purpose when you have parents that will take their kids to just about anything!! I like ya’lls system better! Dawn (Taylor and Mackenzie’s mom)
Response:
My daughter says there is a boy in her kindergarten bragging that he went to see it. I went and I just want to say to parents that it is a life-changing experience if you happen to be in the right frame of mind. As huge Cameron fan, and knowing what he went through to see the work to completion, I got as choked up at the end – when the words "a film by James Cameron" came on – as I did at any point during the show. He pulled it off and I was so happy for him. I came home and thanked my daughters for letting me go, and I told them I hoped that the movie would come around to big screens again some day when they were old enough to go. – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity. Brevity is the height of clarity. non-commercial e-mail always welcome
Response:
I am probably preaching to the choir since any parent who actually reflects on parenting [by, for example, reading a parenting newsgroup] could hardly be so stupid as to take a small child to this movie BUT here goes anyway: We attended Titanic at 5 pm on Sunday, yesterday. Behind us was a parent with a child about 4 — 5 at the oldest with her dolly. To our right sat a 5 or 6 year old and there were at least another half dozen small children in the theater. It shouldn’t take a genius to know that a story that involves 1500 people brutally dying is not going to be appropriate for small children — but that doesn’t seem to stop parents from taking them. This film shows small children abandoned and drowning in corridors, bodies floating inside the ship, small children with their mothers awaiting death trapped in the ship, children weeping as their fathers are left to die, corpses of infants grey and lifeless floating with their dead mothers as well as countless other corpses, including that of the star sinking out of sight into the depths. The kids near us were visibly upset — in addition to the irritation of parents ‘explaining’ each step of a picture far too complex for kids — we had to hear the parents later explaining away the carnage. ‘he’s sleeping’. Irritating as it was for us, think how damaging it must be for the kids. What motivates parents to subject children to experiences that are so clearly inappropriate?
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