Question:
> > 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he >is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ > no comment. I have my own opinion but do not want to get into a religious war > here.
Would it help to say that just explaining your own views on the subject to your child is spiritual training? IOW, if you are an atheist, & you explain this to your child & why, it is a form of spiritual training. I, personally, don’t see where anyone was left out. Susan
Response:
When I was seven my parents got a divorce. I had never seen a fight, a heated discussion, or even a disagreement between them. For the rest of my childhood (and some of my adulthood) I could never admit when I had done something wrong. Not even if I had been caught red-handed. If something as horrible as the breaking up of my family could occur when there was no reason (at least from my POV), I didn’t even want to imagine what would happen to me when I had actually done something that warranted a punishment. I don’t think parents should fight in front of their kids. But, I do think kids should see their parents disagree, talk it out and reach a compromise. Melanie $0.02 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will >not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. >I’m in agreement here.
Response:
>Were it not so obvious that this message was merely a troll, I would definitely >take offense to the part regarding "spiritual training" in #3.
I think the point is that you can’t expect to teach a child *nothing* and then expect they’ll pick something suitable on their own. If you wish to teach your child to be an agnostic or atheist, great. But the sort of lukewarm "Well, we’ll send him to Sunday school once in a while, and then maybe he’ll do something…when he’s an adult…you know" is pointless.
Response:
>I’m not a right-wing conservative myself, although I admit to being a >Christian. But you know what? The right-wing conservatives are not wrong about >EVERYTHING. What parts of their 12 rules do you object to?
There were several things that I disagreed with, but the one that really stood out was: >9. Satisfy his every craving for food, >drink and comfort.
I’m all for putting a limit on candy and soft drinks. However, comfort is an altogether different thing. To deny a child comfort is simply cruel. >To me it’s just good >common sense stuff — nothing too conservative here. I think most of us try to >do the opposite of these 12 rules, in hopes of raising non-delinquents. What’s >wrong with encouraging kids to take responsibility for their actions?
Nothing. I agree that teaching responsibility is very important. >What’s >wrong with giving kids some spiritual training?
Well, nothing if you are religious. My family is not and I don’t feel that I have to pick up a religion just to insure that my child will not be a deliquent. Morals can be taught without religion. >What’s wrong with teaching kids >that the meaning of life is NOT gratification of desires?
Well, what is the meaning of life, then? <g> Sorry. Seriously, I want my child to learn that life is about many things. It’s about responsibitly and struggle, helping others, etc…. But it is also for us to enjoy. I want him to know that satifying desires (within reason, of course) is a good and healthy thing. Kim — "It was my turn to be silent while a small family of moments crossed my path, single file, from the left, sticking their tongues out at me.’ -Roger Zelazny http://www.warped.com/~murrell/kim
Response:
>No, it was serious; I’ve seen it before. It’s right-wing conservative >Christian propoganda; check the credits on the bottom.
I’m not a right-wing conservative myself, although I admit to being a Christian. But you know what? The right-wing conservatives are not wrong about EVERYTHING. What parts of their 12 rules do you object to? To me it’s just good common sense stuff — nothing too conservative here. I think most of us try to do the opposite of these 12 rules, in hopes of raising non-delinquents. What’s wrong with encouraging kids to take responsibility for their actions? What’s wrong with giving kids some spiritual training? What’s wrong with teaching kids that the meaning of life is NOT gratification of desires?
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Too bad that an opinion stated to raise well adjusted and > independant children (into > adults as such) would be considered damaging and false. I > was serious when I said to > provide copies to parents, if only half of them were followed > halfway, that would be an > imrpovement to our population. > Actually many of the "sugestions" weren’t wrong, although they > were fairly ridiculously self-evident and things I can’t think > of a single parent I know (good, bad, or indifferent) doing. > The first one, however, if followed as stated, was one of the best > ways to ensure that your child grew up damaged and delinquent. > You should never refuse to meet an infant’s needs. That will damage > child, in many cases for life. Thus is was that one that > most people responded to.
Yes, and this is the one that I found most sad and frightening (though I had problems with some others as well). > It was supremely bad advice.
Yes, it was. > Remind me not to let our kids play together. . .
Tromp emailed this to me. It is interesting — my girls are 15 and 18 — no delinquency, no drugs, no gangs, no juvie (just a few automobile accidents!) LaVonne
Response:
> Too bad that an opinion stated to raise well adjusted and independant children (into > adults as such) would be considered damaging and false. I was serious when I said to > provide copies to parents, if only half of them were followed halfway, that would be an > imrpovement to our population. Remind me not to let our kids play together. . .
Tromp loi, had I realized you had also posted this, I would not have bothered replying privately to your email. I am all for raising well adjusted and independent children, who grow up to be well adjusted and independent adults. Unfortunately, many of the "12 Rules…" listed here do exactly the opposite. Item 1 is particularly disturbing — the idea that giving an infant what he/she wants will lead to an adult to believes the world owes him/her a living. This is damaging and false information — revealing an appalling lack of knowledge and understanding of infant development. Immediate and consistent responsiveness on the part of the parent is essential for infant mental health and the development of a secure attachment — vital to the development of an independent and well-adjusted child, and adult. (Read research by Ainsworth, Bowlby, Sroufe, and Egeland). LaVonne
Response:
> > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way >he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. > are you suggesting that by caring for my son’s needs, he will grow up to be > a > failure.
I don’t know what adrian is suggesting, but that is exactly what this item of the post is suggesting. Rather that I would perfer to take care of his needs and TEACH him > values when he > is at an age to understand them.
Absolutely! LaVonne
Response:
> I think you all here misunderstood my original post (about sending a copy > home with parents from the hospital.) I meant that these should "not" be > followed and the world would be a happier place. The title "12 rules for > raising delinquent children", so if you don’t do them then your children > will not be. For all those reaming me, it was tongue in cheek.
Yes, Tromp, I certainly did misunderstand your original post — and continued to do so with your personal email to me with the statement "Remind me not to let my children play with your children…" If this was all "tongue in cheek" — I apologize. I have, on more than one occasion, posted a rather sarcastic post, and been reamed by those individuals who took me seriously. LaVonne
Response:
> Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way >he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
What an ignorant comment. A baby most defiantly should be given everything it wants. Babies can not be spoiled with love, affection, and attention. 2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It >will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top >of your head later.
Well I have to confess I did use some bad words in my formative years. Did it cause me to knock off a 711? Nope. Sorry but I think people make too big a deal out of bad language. It becomes the forbidden fruit and therefore quite tantalizing. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he >is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’
Hard for me to comment. I’m still trying to recover from Catholic school. 4. Avoid use of the word ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe >later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him >and he is being persecuted.
Maybe there is some sense in this comment. What bothers me about it is in my family the adults were right because they were adults. If they were wrong or not, it did not matter. It’s very frustrating growing up like that, where your opinions count for nothing. I would hate to see someone take comment #4 too far and constantly tell their child they are wrong because they are a child. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying >around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be >experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.
This is true. Kids should learn to pick up after themselves. 6. Let him read any >printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and >drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
This comment is interesting. As a librarian I am very opposed to censorship of any kind. I think we parents should monitor what our kids read but the nature of the original post leaves me with images of fundamentalists fighting to ban Huck Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Slaughterhouse Five from school libraries. These kind of works expand thinking and do no harm to anyone. >Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will >not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
I’m in agreement here. 8. Give a child all the >spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have >things as tough as YOU had them?
Yes kids should earn their own money. I don’t think kids in school should work though. Their job is to get an education, not sling burgers for 5 bucks an hour. 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, >drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may >lead to harmful frustration.
huh? 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers >and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
Of course we should never believe our children. They’re just children. Adults are never wrong. > > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Some of this is okay, but most is hopelessly outdated.
Response:
I think you all here misunderstood my original post (about sending a copy home with parents from the hospital.) I meant that these should "not" be followed and the world would be a happier place. The title "12 rules for raising delinquent children", so if you don’t do them then your children will not be. For all those reaming me, it was tongue in cheek. ;o) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Too bad that an opinion stated to raise well adjusted and > independant children (into > adults as such) would be considered damaging and false. I > was serious when I said to > provide copies to parents, if only half of them were followed > halfway, that would be an > imrpovement to our population. > Actually many of the "sugestions" weren’t wrong, although they > were fairly ridiculously self-evident and things I can’t think > of a single parent I know (good, bad, or indifferent) doing. > The first one, however, if followed as stated, was one of the best > ways to ensure that your child grew up damaged and delinquent. > You should never refuse to meet an infant’s needs. That will damage > child, in many cases for life. Thus is was that one that > most people responded to. > It was supremely bad advice. > Remind me not to let our kids play together. . . > Interesting comment. I’m constantly being told what a joy > my children are. How much fun and easy (the baby), how mature, helpful, > respectful, and well-behaved (teenage boy and kindergartener) > they are by most everyone who interacts with them when we, the > parents, aren’t there. And they give us actual examples of > the behavior they are talking about. > Now if we could just get them to act like that when they > are alone with us and each other …. ;-) > Scott
Response:
Were it not so obvious that this message was merely a troll, I would definitely take offense to the part regarding "spiritual training" in #3. Religious training has *NO* bearing on how a child turns out morally. I do not believe in organized religion, however I believe that I treat others far better than many who call themselves religious. Why must the holy-rollers attach religion to every principle in life? RJK – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way > he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. 2. When he > picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It > will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top > of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he > is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word > ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe > later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him > and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying > around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be > experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any > printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and > drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. > Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will > not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the > spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have > things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, > drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may > lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers > and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets > into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do > anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to > have it. > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Response:
I guess I understood some of these differently than some of you. > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way >he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
My brother and his wife BUY their girls EVERYTHING THEY WANT. And they appreciate NOTHING. I have said for years that they will have problems later w/ these sweet girls they are turning into materialistic brats. > 2. When he >picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute.
I have seen this too. It does happen. You wouldn’t believe how many idiots laugh at babies who pick up bad words. > 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he >is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’
no comment. I have my own opinion but do not want to get into a religious war here. > 4. Avoid use of the word >’wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex.
I have read and heard people say that you shouldn’t tell children what they are doing is "wrong". I prefer the word "wrong" over the word "bad" myself but feel that if you never tell your children that something is "wrong", how can they develop a conscience? >5. Pick up everything he leaves lying >around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be >experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.
Surely we should all agree that children need to learn to pick up after themselves. (?) >6. Let him read any >printed matter he can get his hands on. >let his mind feast on garbage.
Printed matter or TV. Don’t we all complain about the sex and violence on television? My 4 y.o. niece was allowed to watch _Anaconda_, a very violent/scary movie the other day. Are some of you agreeing with this? I mean, she wanted to watch it, should we not have the right to censor what our children are exposed to? > 7. >Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will >not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
I don’t think anyone would say quarreling frequently in front of children is good for them. > 8. Give a child all the >spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have >things as tough as YOU had them?
Again, my brother and sil FEEL this way. I’m telling you that at ages 6 and 2, their girls are already spoiled, ungrateful, unsufferable children. Their usual greeting is "What did you bring for me?" After opening all of the presents at b-days/x-mas they throw all the stuff to the side and wail "Is that ALL!" >9. Satisfy his every craving for food, >drink and comfort. –
I’m already having to set my foot down about candy, pop, etc. w/ Tess and she’s only two. My friend is always complaining about how hyper her child is and I rarely see that kid w/o some form of sugar in his mouth. >10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers >and policemen.
I will always back my children up. But, wrong is wrong and sometimes people make excuses for their children leaving them to believe that they can do anything they want-mommy or daddy will fix it. If she gets in trouble at school for X behavior and has to do X punishment- if she really did the X behavior, what is wrong with letting the punishment stand? Consequences are something that is important to teach children. > 11. When he gets >into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do >anything with him."
I have heard this also. Usually from parents that never tried to "do anything with him." Really, are we all disagreeing on this? It seems very basic in the way I’m interpreting it. I don’t agree with the first point if you’re talking about needs, being held, etc…I did however, take this to mean material things. I’m just really surprised that some of you took offence at this. Julie-Mommy to Tess *Those who say "Motherhood is a thankless job" should be pitied. They are missing the whole point.*
Response:
> > >> > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > Hey guys, > I think this list was meant to be a joke. And not to be taken seriously! > I thought it was cute. ( not that I follow any of these! ) > No, it was serious; I’ve seen it before. It’s right-wing conservative > Christian propoganda; check the credits on the bottom.
Sorry; I speak to shortly sometimes. Let me qualify: it was serious, but also meant to be sarcastic. Also, this was *not* a flame against "right-wingers" (man, I hate the terms right and left wing….), Christians, or conservatives. Maybe I should have said fundamentalists. Oh crud, now I’m just getting in deeper…..you all know what I mean! :) Mike — From Seattle, WA – Seahawks, cinema, science and more at http://kohary.simplenet.com Seahawks: http://kohary.simplenet.com/hawks.htm Cinema: http://kohary.simplenet.com/movies.htm Science: http://kohary.simplenet.com/science.htm
Response:
I realize that this was supposed to be entertaining and sarcastic, but I do agree with some of them. Those are: #2 laughing at bad words encourages futher use of those bad words. To discourage such laungage do not use the words, or laugh when your child does. #4 using words like wrong, no, and don’t is currently seen as damaging by some people. I think children need to hear them. #5 Making children pick up after themselves teaches personal responsablity. Something sorely lacking in todays world. #6 Would you let your teenagers read porn? Wouldn’t he read the Bible, the Bill of Rights, Shakeshere, anything but garbage? #8 A child will learn to respect money and spend it wisely if he has to earn it. He can earn it through good behavior, good grades and doing chores around the house. When he gets older he can mow the neighbors lawn, babysit, get a part time job. #9 By refusing to let Jr have chocalote cake and coke for breakfast you are protecting his health, and hopefully teaching him self control. #10 I recommend always listening to your child and the adults in a situation (teachers, neighbors, cops etc..) who knows who is telling the truth. Take up for your child when he needs it, stand with the accusers when they are right, but still love your child.
Response:
Too bad that an opinion stated to raise well adjusted and independant children (into adults as such) would be considered damaging and false. I was serious when I said to provide copies to parents, if only half of them were followed halfway, that would be an imrpovement to our population. Remind me not to let our kids play together. . . – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This is great. We should provide complimentary copies to folks when leaving the > hospital with newborn babes. =) > Highly unlikely, Tromp — most individuals working in neonatal units > have more training and education, especially in the needs of infants, > to send home such damaging and false information. > LaVonne > > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way > > he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. 2. When he > > picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It > > will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top > > of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he > > is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word > > ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe > > later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him > > and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying > > around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be > > experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any > > printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and > > drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. > > Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will > > not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the > > spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have > > things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, > > drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may > > lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers > > and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets > > into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do > > anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to > > have it. > > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Response:
Let’s see responding to an infants needs are wrong and who would laugh at a child cursing, I don’t think adults are even funny. Oh this was written back in the 60-70’s no wonder it is so outdated! Thirteen (I could get to one hundred…) rules on how IMO to raise a delinquent child: 1. Don’t respond to their needs as an infant or toddler, or teen or adult. Totally shut down when they need you, it might just take away too much of your "free" time. 2. Don’t let a boy cry, he might grow up to be gay. Don’t hug them either too much, only babies cry, not big girls and big boys. 3. Spank your kids a lot and maintain control so they won’t know how to make their own decisions. Make sure they have low self-esteem. 4. Argue and get out of control in front of your kids, throw things, curse, and otherwise verbally and/or physically abuse one another. 5. Have wild parties, or just plain old lose control of yourself and lose their respect. 6. Abandon them on a frequent basis, emotionally and/or physically. 7. Make them insecure. Don’t allow them any personal power, or decision making responsibility in their household, age accordingly of course. 8. Don’t respect them equally. Make sure they 9. Make sure they have their "place" in your home. 10. Forgetting that children do not have to earn you love, it is their birthright. 11. Forgetting that respect is a two way street, you get what you give. 12. Making your child more convenient for your rather than growing as a person to adapt to parenthood. 13. Don’t teach them any responsibility by taking away their rights to make mistakes and decisions on their own. Children know the truth love is not an emotion, love is a behavior. Andrew Vachss http://www.vachss.com/main.html — toni http://www.ddelight.com http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/cloth_diapers http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/endometriosissupport :
Response:
> Too bad that an opinion stated to raise well adjusted and > independant children (into > adults as such) would be considered damaging and false. I > was serious when I said to > provide copies to parents, if only half of them were followed > halfway, that would be an > imrpovement to our population.
Actually many of the "sugestions" weren’t wrong, although they were fairly ridiculously self-evident and things I can’t think of a single parent I know (good, bad, or indifferent) doing. The first one, however, if followed as stated, was one of the best ways to ensure that your child grew up damaged and delinquent. You should never refuse to meet an infant’s needs. That will damage child, in many cases for life. Thus is was that one that most people responded to. It was supremely bad advice. > Remind me not to let our kids play together. . .
Interesting comment. I’m constantly being told what a joy my children are. How much fun and easy (the baby), how mature, helpful, respectful, and well-behaved (teenage boy and kindergartener) they are by most everyone who interacts with them when we, the parents, aren’t there. And they give us actual examples of the behavior they are talking about. Now if we could just get them to act like that when they are alone with us and each other …. ;-) Scott
Response:
> Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way >he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
are you suggesting that by caring for my son’s needs, he will grow up to be a failure. Rather that I would perfer to take care of his needs and TEACH him values when he is at an age to understand them. 2. When he >picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It >will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top >of your head later.
I have yet to experience this. Right now I am happy that he is using any real words at all. which was a real shock since he doesn’t go dadadada but mamamamama 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he >is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’
My father Forced me to attend a church that I despised and it took me over 20 years to achieve peace within myself and with what I hold holy. (and before I get flamed…your religion is yours and mine is mine…I will discuss baby bottles and the poopy diapers before engaging in a religious debate.) 4. Avoid use of the word >’wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe >later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him >and he is being persecuted.
This one I actually agree with…ConMan already knows when he is doing something wrong (playing with the drapes, etc) and most of the time will stop when told too…but he already has met the ‘dreaded’ time-out…and the once in a blue moon smack on the 4" padded butt… 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying >around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be >experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.
Oh My God….is that for my son or my husband….the man couldn’t find the hamper with a road map…and he is the one that does the laundry. :) 6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. I plan too….the only thing that is truly terrifying is ignorance. He has already had Tom Clancy read to him as well as Robert Heinlein….he liked the Heinlein..hehehe Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. Until Connor is at an age to decide for himself. My husband and I WILL be the judges of what he can read but at the age of a teenager, his reading choices will nbe his and not some narrow-minded fundie… POI(information) Did you know that on the banned books lists the Bible, the Koran, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, anything by RL Stine among others are there? 7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will >not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.
My husband and I rarely fight and most of the time we are laughing over what we are fighting about. 8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as YOU had them? Now chores and rewards for good grades are the way of the future for Connor. 9. Satisfy his every craving for food,>drink and comfort. Have you ever let an one year go without his meals or his bottle? I would say that you are the one that is cruel. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. Depends on the situation. Yes, I hope that my child will do the correct thing. But I know that if he is anything like his mother he will get into trouble, that’s what kids do—experiment….Give them the knowledge that they are loved and a sense of right and wrong and the worse thing that they will do is get into food fights…. :) 11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do >anything with him."
COP-OUT 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it. Are you a psychic or what? You KNOW the future….. > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Brenna Chewy toy to Connor Pick-up person for hubby Chief cook, bottle-washer and giver of love and care to her family.
Response:
>> > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children
Hey guys, I think this list was meant to be a joke. And not to be taken seriously! I thought it was cute. ( not that I follow any of these! ) Take care, Jackie K
Response:
> >> > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > Hey guys, > I think this list was meant to be a joke. And not to be taken seriously! > I thought it was cute. ( not that I follow any of these! )
No, it was serious; I’ve seen it before. It’s right-wing conservative Christian propoganda; check the credits on the bottom. Mike — From Seattle, WA – Seahawks, cinema, science and more at http://kohary.simplenet.com Seahawks: http://kohary.simplenet.com/hawks.htm Cinema: http://kohary.simplenet.com/movies.htm Science: http://kohary.simplenet.com/science.htm
Response:
> This is great. We should provide complimentary copies to folks when leaving the > hospital with newborn babes. =)
Highly unlikely, Tromp — most individuals working in neonatal units have more training and education, especially in the needs of infants, to send home such damaging and false information. LaVonne – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way > he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. 2. When he > picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It > will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top > of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he > is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word > ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe > later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him > and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying > around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be > experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any > printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and > drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. > Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will > not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the > spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have > things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, > drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may > lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers > and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets > into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do > anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to > have it. > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Response:
This is great. We should provide complimentary copies to folks when leaving the hospital with newborn babes. =) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way > he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. 2. When he > picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It > will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top > of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he > is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word > ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe > later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him > and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying > around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be > experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any > printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and > drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. > Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will > not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the > spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have > things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, > drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may > lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers > and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets > into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do > anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to > have it. > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Response:
> Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way > he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
What garbage — in infancy, a child’s needs and wants are food, shelter, safety, love, attention, and security. The responsive parent will respond to their infant immediately and promptly, reading his/her cues and meeting those needs and wants. Responsive parenting leads to a secure attachment — a great predictor of later adjustment (read Sroufe and Egeland’s research, along with Bowlby, for a more complete definition). This view of babies encourages an insecure attachment, which longitudinal studies show to be associated with a myriad of later problems **including delinquincy!** Not surprised that Larry Christianson picked up on it though (or did he write it — it sounds a lot like his stuff?) Anyone who believes fear is a catalyst for love, and who believes discipline begins in the cradle, would certainly endorse crap such as this! Funny how these great little guidelines don’t contain one shred of evidence that points to the truth of the statements, isn’t it? LaVonne 2. When he – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It > will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top > of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he > is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word > ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe > later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him > and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying > around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be > experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any > printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and > drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. > Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will > not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the > spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have > things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, > drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may > lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers > and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets > into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do > anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to > have it. > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970) > Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children > 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way > he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. 2. When he > picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It > will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top > of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he > is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word > ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe > later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him > and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying > around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be > experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any > printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and > drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. > Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will > not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the > spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have > things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, > drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may > lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers > and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets > into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do > anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to > have it. > (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in > "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, > Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
Response:
Twelve Rules For Raising Delinquent Children 1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living. 2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It will also encourage him to pick up ‘cuter’ phrases that will blow off the top of your head later. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself.’ 4. Avoid use of the word ‘wrong.’ It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted. 5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around-books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others. 6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. 7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later. 8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as YOU had them? 9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. -See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration. 10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him." 12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it. (Houston Police Department, 1960; reprinted in "The Christian Family" by Larry Christenson, Bethany Fellowship: Minneapolis, 1970)
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