Question:
> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions? > http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com
Unless your child is disrespectful when she speaks to you, I’m not sure why you’d want to do anything. You say that she’s "sometimes" whiny – yikes, I’m whiny sometimes too, typically when I’m disappointed. Sounds like normal stuff, and as long as she’s not aggressive or a shrieking harridan, why not just accept her expression of feelings? Just my (admittedly not-too-brilliant tonight) .02, KidDoc
Response:
You make a very good point. However, you have to admit, that a child should listen and do what is asked of her, more often than pout and whine. http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions?
You didn’t indicate why she might be doing it. The reasons can be as simple as because she learned it, in which case just do it back to her and make fun of her and she’ll stop. Or it could be you’ve been being highhanded and unfair and that’s the only way she can react to your unfairness. It’s not a single "thing" or something. The things your kids do are for good reasons! Steve
Response:
"A day without x’s whine is like a day without sunshine" "The day’s not complete without a whine from x" "Would you like some cheese with your whine?"
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Whining bugs me too. When my daughter does that I just tell her that I > won’t listen to her when she whines, talk properly and we might listen. > Then I truely do ignore her until it stops. It usually works pretty > quickly. > Annemarie > My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions? > http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com > Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. > Up to 100 minutes free! > http://www.keen.com
Response:
My two cents: They need to do certain things, but unfortunately, I think to get them into action you have to get into action yourself. When my son is whiny, it’s sometimes because I’m asking him to do something in my own whiny way. It’s like when they’re two, you have to get up and carry them sometimes, get involved in the situation, get things going, walk with them, show them stuff. Not whine at them to do stuff, this is easy to do though as they get older because they can do more stuff on their own, so it’s easy to just expect to give some actions or have them generate their own enthusiasm for everything, who is enthusiastic about doing stuff someone else is off-handedly barking at them to do? I’m not, I think it’s all in the presentation. I find as a parent I have to get involved and enthusiastic about it all too. If I want my son to go swimming and he’s bored and whiny with the idea and making issues all the way, well I have to get up and get it going on, get into the situation and make it happen, narrow down the choices, make it known that I want to see him do the thing and that he’ll do great, competely ignore the whining part and give him the attention he needs but not necessarily about the specific issues he’s whining about. This is what I find makes parenting a real challenge sometimes, it requires alot of my own personal energy, not just words and logic. This seems to work for me -when I can do it! and it can be very rewarding. I find working out and living healthy myself quite helpful as it gets my own energy level UP!! the other thing is that encouraging him makes me feel good too. Turn a negative situation into a positive one. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >You make a very good point. However, you have to admit, that a >child should listen and do what is asked of her, more often than >pout and whine. >http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com >Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. >Up to 100 minutes free! >http://www.keen.com
Response:
Whining bugs me too. When my daughter does that I just tell her that I won’t listen to her when she whines, talk properly and we might listen. Then I truely do ignore her until it stops. It usually works pretty quickly. Annemarie
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions? > http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com > Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. > Up to 100 minutes free! > http://www.keen.com
Response:
Ugh I hate that too!! I tell my daughter that I do not understand her. I behave like she is speaking a foreign language and tell her to take a few deep breaths and speak like someone who want to be listened to. No habla el whining!! good luck Katie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions? > http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com > Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. > Up to 100 minutes free! > http://www.keen.com
Response:
> Whining bugs me too. When my daughter does that I just tell her that I > won’t listen to her when she whines, talk properly and we might listen. > Then I truely do ignore her until it stops. It usually works pretty > quickly. > Annemarie
This is, in my experience, the best solution, but must be applied consistently, without fail. Children of this age can readily understand an explanation of proper behavior, followed up with the parental ignoring of the inappropriate. But, they will try the whining from time to time just to see if it works *now*, especially if they are particularly tired and/or hungry. -Aula
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To a degree kidDoc, but the sound can be just excruciatingly irritating. I think we do want to teach our kids to be socially acceptable. My daughter anyway only tries it now and again, and asking her to talk properly and then ignoring her when she whines soon fixes it. Once she talks properly I make a point of giving her attention to see what the problem is. Annemarie
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions? > http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com > Unless your child is disrespectful when she speaks to you, I’m not sure > why you’d want to do anything. You say that she’s "sometimes" whiny – > yikes, I’m whiny sometimes too, typically when I’m disappointed. Sounds > like normal stuff, and as long as she’s not aggressive or a shrieking > harridan, why not just accept her expression of feelings? > Just my (admittedly not-too-brilliant tonight) .02, > KidDoc
Response:
(some snipped) > You didn’t indicate why she might be doing it. The reasons can be as > simple as because she learned it, in which case just do it back to her > and make fun of her and she’ll stop.
This has got to be in the top ten list of the worst online advice ever given to a parent at any time. As the child’s role model, the one they look to for guidance and direction, repeat the very behaviour yourself that you are trying to discourage in an effort to "make fun of them" so they will stop?? Oh my GOD….Talk about willfully hurting your child’s feelings, and showing disrespect towards them. Aren’t these the very things that you preach against in your own replies, Steve? ….Just when you think you’ve seen it all, Steve throws in another unthoughtful reply to someone’s serious posting. — Charlene SD Kaitlin, 11 BD Danielle, 7 BS James, 1.5 ??? Due in Nov/00-TBA – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Or it could be you’ve been being highhanded and unfair and that’s the > only way she can react to your unfairness. > It’s not a single "thing" or something. The things your kids do are for > good reasons! > Steve
Response:
> > You didn’t indicate why she might be doing it. The reasons can be as > simple as because she learned it, in which case just do it back to her > and make fun of her and she’ll stop. > This has got to be in the top ten list of the worst online advice ever given > to a parent at any time. As the child’s role model, the one they look to for > guidance and direction,
No they don’t. They see you as an irritation or as fun. Kids don’t think such platitudes, only adults dream such bullshit up. > repeat the very behaviour yourself that you are > trying to discourage in an effort to "make fun of them" so they will stop??
Ridiculous. Children are PEOPLE, and JUST like the rest of US they do things for REASONS, they are NOT some canvas you’re supposed to scratch on or else they will have no inherent content!! How stupid can you be?? You act like a kid has no sense of humor or irony!! > Oh my GOD….Talk about willfully hurting your child’s feelings, and showing > disrespect towards them. Aren’t these the very things that you preach > against in your own replies, Steve?
If you don’t claim a disrespectful relationship of control upon your child then you are as free to make fun of her and her to react as she wishes to one of her other friends doing it. A lot of times the way we react, whether children or adults, comes from habits of behavior, and out friends often point these rigidities up to us by poking fun at us for them. The more you try to fathom this stuff the more obviously confused about all these issues you reveal yourself to be. Or else you’re merely reaching desperately to try to find fault. > ….Just when you think you’ve seen it all, Steve throws in another > unthoughtful reply to someone’s serious posting. > — > Charlene
How ignorant you are to avoid listening so well. Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Or it could be you’ve been being highhanded and unfair and that’s the > only way she can react to your unfairness. > It’s not a single "thing" or something. The things your kids do are for > good reasons! > Steve
Response:
Yeah, 7 year olds do this. They demand complete attention. Don’t have anymore kids. The fact that it gets on your nerves shows you are unable to handle normal childhood development. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she >doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone >have any suggestions? >http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com >Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. >Up to 100 minutes free! >http://www.keen.com
Response:
bravo, steve. Adultstoo often ascribe inane adult behavior to children who cannot possibly construct such complicated scenarios and motivations. most adults just need to step back, and realize that small children are incabable of getting into the insane mind-games that adults are prone to. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > You didn’t indicate why she might be doing it. The reasons can be as > > simple as because she learned it, in which case just do it back to her > > and make fun of her and she’ll stop. > This has got to be in the top ten list of the worst online advice ever given > to a parent at any time. As the child’s role model, the one they look to for > guidance and direction, >No they don’t. They see you as an irritation or as fun. Kids don’t think >such platitudes, only adults dream such bullshit up. > repeat the very behaviour yourself that you are > trying to discourage in an effort to "make fun of them" so they will stop?? >Ridiculous. Children are PEOPLE, and JUST like the rest of US they do >things for REASONS, they are NOT some canvas you’re supposed to scratch >on or else they will have no inherent content!! How stupid can you be?? >You act like a kid has no sense of humor or irony!! > Oh my GOD….Talk about willfully hurting your child’s feelings, and showing > disrespect towards them. Aren’t these the very things that you preach > against in your own replies, Steve? >If you don’t claim a disrespectful relationship of control upon your >child then you are as free to make fun of her and her to react as she >wishes to one of her other friends doing it. >A lot of times the way we react, whether children or adults, comes from >habits of behavior, and out friends often point these rigidities up to >us by poking fun at us for them. >The more you try to fathom this stuff the more obviously confused about >all these issues you reveal yourself to be. Or else you’re merely >reaching desperately to try to find fault. > ….Just when you think you’ve seen it all, Steve throws in another > unthoughtful reply to someone’s serious posting. > — > Charlene >How ignorant you are to avoid listening so well. >Steve > > Or it could be you’ve been being highhanded and unfair and that’s the > > only way she can react to your unfairness. > > It’s not a single "thing" or something. The things your kids do are for > > good reasons! > > Steve
Response:
Does anyone here think this email addy is rather odd for a newbie in a parenting group? Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. source unknown
Response:
> You make a very good point. However, you have to admit, that a > child should listen and do what is asked of her, more often than > pout and whine.
Ya, absolutely – I just wasn’t clear on how frequently "sometimes" is. e.g. – if it’s once a week or so, heck, I’m grumpier more often than that. However, if it’s every day, then I agree you’ll need to address it. I take the approach endorsed by the majority of other posters here – "I can’t hear you when you speak to me in that tone of voice. Why don’t you try again?" KidDoc
Response:
> Yeah, 7 year olds do this. They demand complete attention. > Don’t have anymore kids. The fact that it gets on your nerves shows you are > unable to handle normal childhood development.
Oh goody! A new troll! KidDoc (<– lowering the troll bridge in anticipation)
Response:
Stop giving in. Don’t fuel the fire. AJPDLA – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she >doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone >have any suggestions? >http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com >Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. >Up to 100 minutes free! >http://www.keen.com
Response:
Couple of points- first of all, you child will mimic what she sees. Do you do the same thing? Also, look at her payoff. Does she get a much bigger payoff for pouting and whining than listening and doing? In fact, may I ask if she gets ignored when she listens and does, and a ton of attention for pouting and whining?
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> You make a very good point. However, you have to admit, that a > child should listen and do what is asked of her, more often than > pout and whine. > http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com > Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. > Up to 100 minutes free! > http://www.keen.com
Response:
>> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she > doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone > have any suggestions? >You didn’t indicate why she might be doing it. The reasons can be as >simple as because she learned it, in which case just do it back to her >and make fun of her and she’ll stop.
Make fun of them? I don’t make fun of or ridicule children. Poopei Pnats >Or it could be you’ve been being highhanded and unfair and that’s the >only way she can react to your unfairness. >It’s not a single "thing" or something. The things your kids do are for >good reasons! >Steve
I hace a new frub called teh Loons Nest http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/theloonsnest Check out my advice froup http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/mzpoopiepantsfanclub Poopie up close and personal http://www.homestead.com/poopieshowse/index.html
Response:
> Yeah, 7 year olds do this. They demand complete attention. > Don’t have anymore kids. The fact that it gets on your nerves shows you are > unable to handle normal childhood development. >the fact that your address is pornstar makes it even more clear that
you are not to be relied upon to give good solid parenting advice. The fact that you would presume to tell anyone not to have anymore kids is absurd. Whining gets on a persons nerves wether they have children or not and not liking it is no reason not to have more kids just because it is a normal part of a child growing up. By basking for help in trying to stop her childs whining the poster was being a responsible parent so as not to raise a whiny adult. >http://www.your-home-business-advisor.com >Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. >Up to 100 minutes free! >http://www.keen.com
– Have you Hugged Your Herps Today? Before you buy.
Response:
>Does anyone here think this email addy is rather odd for a newbie in >a parenting group?
>Dorothy >There is no sound, no cry in all the world >that can be heard unless someone listens .. >source unknown
~Nancy~ Mom to Emily~2/14/00 and Wally~1/13/84 Visit my Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/nlbader63/intro.html Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> My daughter is 7, but sometimes whines and acts ’sucky’ when she >> doesn’t get her own way. It gets on my nerves! Does anyone >> have any suggestions? >You didn’t indicate why she might be doing it. The reasons can be as >simple as because she learned it, in which case just do it back to her >and make fun of her and she’ll stop. > Make fun of them? > I don’t make fun of or ridicule children. > Poopei Pnats
Anybody with a brain does. And you’ve never whined back at a child in amusement?? Riiiight!! Your children must not have any sense of humor now!! Steve
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> bravo, steve. > Adultstoo often ascribe inane adult behavior to children who cannot possibly > construct such complicated scenarios and motivations. > most adults just need to step back, and realize that small children are > incabable of getting into the insane mind-games that adults are prone to. > Actually, too many adults take offense at the mind games > children play on them. They get sulky and upset, > frustrated, and, too often, angry at their children. By > believing kids are incapable of playing on adults’ emotions > in this way, the adult gets madder and madder, making > reasonable parenting very difficult. > — >
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