Question:
I have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has been to the daycare [mother's day out] for the past 2 years and not really had a problem for some ocassional times when he is sick or coming back after a trip. The problem we have with him is that he is fine (gets along well) with "Adults" of our age group but not to kids of his own age group. He does not play with any other kids of his own age group. When we leave him…. generally a child should get "ok" after 15 mins later but he will still keep calling mommy after 2-3 hours later. What can we do [practically] to instill or encourage him. It seems that he is getting worst in this behavior. Please please help. Please email me at Kelly – APA Charter, FAQ, links and more: http://www.altparentingattachment.org/
Response:
Overly shy or afraid of new places and experiences? I am not sure but how about trying him out in the church nursery if you attend, or perhaps joining a play class during the week? In the play class or group you could be there with him, and it may help him feel more confident til he starts getting used to being around other kids. 
How about library reading group? Traci Come Join the Fun at… http://www.parenthoodweb.com Log Directly into Chat at… http://phw2.parenthoodweb.com:4080/chat/world/html/login.html – APA Charter, FAQ, links and more: http://www.altparentingattachment.org/
Response:
Imagine for just a moment that you are placed in a room with a bunch of people who speak different languages – all of them! Then imagine that you know nothing of their customs, behaviors, conflict resolution, etc. Then, become 3 feet tall and stay in that room for three hours. This is sort of what it would be like for your son in his ocassional daycare environment. He is comfortable around adults, because he can model your behaviors with other adults. He needs you to show him how to interact with kids his own age, how to introduce himself, stand up for himself if necessary, express his desires to play – at least to get his feet wet with the process. One of my twin sons was very shy (like me!) and I was determined to give him better tools than I had (folks think I’m a snob sometimes, when I’m really just very shy!). At playgrounds, playgroups, etc., I would help them both with the words and actions they needed to use to interact with other kids. I would never speak for them, but I would quietly tell them some of the words they could use in that situation, whatever it was. To get the result they wanted, they would have to use the words (or something similar) and they caught on pretty quick. It wasn’t always easy, but they learned well. They’re almost five and I still find myself giving them both a little direction in inviting new kids to play with them at town functions, so they can expand their skills more at this age. I’ve gotta tell ya, I’ve created little monsters (grin!) because they are both now very adept in social situations and can express themselves quite well with kids and adults. They have more self confidence at their young age than I had in later years! I’ll never forget the first time I gave my tiny sons their very first ice cream cones and they looked at me with a huge "What?!" in their eyes. They could figure out the ice cream part, but they didn’t know they could just lick that drippy things and even eat the cone! It dawned on me, at that moment, just how much our children need us to teach them. Very few skills at this age, especially social ones, are instinctive – it is mostly learned. Just give him the tools and watch him bloom. Good Luck! ~L
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has been to the daycare [mother's day > out] for the past 2 years and not really had a problem for some > ocassional times when he is sick or coming back after a trip. The > problem we have with him is that he is fine (gets along well) > with "Adults" of our age group but not to kids of his own age group. He > does not play with any other kids of his own age group. When we leave > him…. generally a child should get "ok" after 15 mins later but he > will still keep calling mommy after 2-3 hours later. What can we do > [practically] to instill or encourage him. It seems that he is getting > worst in this behavior. Please please help. Please email me at > Kelly > – > APA Charter, FAQ, links and more: > http://www.altparentingattachment.org/
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has been to the daycare [mother's day > out] for the past 2 years and not really had a problem for some > ocassional times when he is sick or coming back after a trip. The > problem we have with him is that he is fine (gets along well) > with "Adults" of our age group but not to kids of his own age group. He > does not play with any other kids of his own age group. When we leave > him…. generally a child should get "ok" after 15 mins later but he > will still keep calling mommy after 2-3 hours later. What can we do > [practically] to instill or encourage him. It seems that he is getting > worst in this behavior. Please please help. Please email me at > Kelly > – > APA Charter, FAQ, links and more: > http://www.altparentingattachment.org/
I have a very shy son too. I find that giving him something to take to daycare helped. He would often take a movie, sometimes a book or a toy. I think it made him feel more at home and also gave him something to talk about with the other kids. Ask him what he did at daycare in detail, about his feelings. My son would sometimes start crying at home because of something one of the kids said at daycare, most kids would be mad for a minute and then carry on, but he was very sensitive. I would try to give him stratagies to deal with these situations and tried to let him know that it was ok to be shy. He is now in kidergarten and although still very quiet, he really enjoys playing with other kids. — Jocelyn Lequier-Jobin – Mommy to: Rene(March 14,1995) Joelle(November 5, 1999) Visit My Web Page at: http://www.geocities.com/jocelynlequierjobin/me.html – APA Charter, FAQ, links and more: http://www.altparentingattachment.org/
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