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when DH is SAHD

Question:

Michelle, (that is my daughters name too.)  I am a SAHD. My wife works for a major international corporation as an assistant Controller. I cook, take care of the laundry for me and the children, and maintain the house. I don’t clean either (we have someone come in once a week to do the things that neither of us like.) I know that you wanted the women to talk to, but I had to respond, because my wife doesn’t read these newsgroups. If you want to ask me questions, I would be glad to ask her and post the replies. — From Frank in White Plains, NY >I would like to correspond with other mothers who work fulltime while their >husbands stay at home with the kid(s). My business is attached to our home

so I

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>I would like to correspond with other mothers who work fulltime while their >husbands stay at home with the kid(s). My business is attached to our home

I work full time and my DH works very part-time so he can stay home with our son.  Of course, it is a wonderful situation, since we don’t have to pay for or deal with the hassle of daycare or babysitters.  Sometimes, I wonder why the house isn’t clean or the laundry or dishes aren’t done when I come home. But, since I stayed home with him for the first year I really understand how hard it is to take care of him and try to get anything else done. I know that if he could, he would not work at all, but that isn’t financially possible right now (we’re saving for a new house). I spent many years in school to get my degree and I enjoy my job, and as much as I love my son, I feel I need to continue to develop my career.  My DH is going back to school part-time to get his computer graphic-design degree so he can work at home full time. Even though it’s not always easy, it works for us! Tammy, mom to Israel

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>I would like to correspond with other mothers who work fulltime while their >husbands stay at home with the kid(s). My business is attached to our home

My DH works very part-time while I work a full time job.  Of course the obvious advantages are not having to deal with (or pay for) a babysitter or daycare.  My son spends almost all his time with his family.  There are problems, but it’s no big deal.  Yes, I do sometimes wonder why the house isn’t clean or the laundry or dishes aren’t done when I get home, but since I stayed home with him for the first year, I understand how hard it is to watch him and get anything else done. I spent a lot of years in school to get my degree, and I enjoy my job. As much as I love my son, I still feel I need to develop my career.  My DH would stay home full time if he could–in fact he’s going back to school to get his computer graphic design degree so he can work from home full time!  It’s not always easy, but it works for us! Tammy, mom to Israel

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I would like to correspond with other mothers who work fulltime while their husbands stay at home with the kid(s). My business is attached to our home so I get to run in a see our 7 month old daughter frequently but I really have to focus on work most of the day. My husband does a lot of the managerial work for my business in between parenting, but we all know how hard it is to get much done with a 7 month old around. He is a terrific nurturer, an adequate cook, and not such a great housekeeper <G>  Although he is having some trouble adjusting to his new role, and I sometimes feel jealous of the time he gets with the baby,  all in all, it’s working out very well. . . I’d love to compare notes with other women in the same situation. There don’t seem to be many of us,   Michelle

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We are trying to find a way for my husband to quit his job and be a SAHD (financially).  We would like to start this fall–just crunching the numbers now and doing some reading on "simplifying our life."  Problem is–we are pretty simple already!  We moved to a very small town where costs are less, drive two older cars (although mine is a convertible–my one indulgence!  I am prepared to sell it, however.), and clip coupons, etc.  I feel Dean is as least as nurturing as I am, if not a little more so.  Since I make more money, I am the obvious one to keep working at this point.  Thought I had it all worked out, but forgot that we get family insurance from HIS job, not mine.  The group insurance at my job is very expensive and I don’t think we can afford it. SO I will be watching this thread with interest for any tips that might help out.  Thank in advance. kendra mom to Cody, almost 5, and Josie, 8 months

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Try the newsgroup misc.consumers.frugal-living. They’ve had alot of threads on this subject! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >We are trying to find a way for my husband to quit his job and be a SAHD >(financially).  We would like to start this fall–just crunching the >numbers now and doing some reading on "simplifying our life."  Problem >is–we are pretty simple already!  We moved to a very small town where >costs are less, drive two older cars (although mine is a convertible–my >one indulgence!  I am prepared to sell it, however.), and clip coupons, >etc.  I feel Dean is as least as nurturing as I am, if not a little more >so.  Since I make more money, I am the obvious one to keep working at this >point.  Thought I had it all worked out, but forgot that we get family >insurance from HIS job, not mine.  The group insurance at my job is very >expensive and I don’t think we can afford it. SO I will be watching this >thread with interest for any tips that might help out.  Thank in advance. >kendra >mom to Cody, almost 5, and Josie, 8 months

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> We are trying to find a way for my husband to quit his job and be a SAHD > (financially).  We would like to start this fall–just crunching the > numbers now and doing some reading on "simplifying our life."  Problem > is–we are pretty simple already!  We moved to a very small town where > costs are less, drive two older cars (although mine is a convertible–my > one indulgence!  I am prepared to sell it, however.), and clip coupons, > etc.  I feel Dean is as least as nurturing as I am, if not a little more > so.  Since I make more money, I am the obvious one to keep working at this > point.  Thought I had it all worked out, but forgot that we get family > insurance from HIS job, not mine.  The group insurance at my job is very > expensive and I don’t think we can afford it. SO I will be watching this > thread with interest for any tips that might help out.  Thank in advance.

Yes, the insurance can be a real tickler.  What are some of your numbers?  Do you have a mortgage, etc.?  In your budget, are you finding that you fall a bit short, or are not making enough over your bills to feel comfortable handling the groceries and miscellaneous things?  Our family has a SAH parent, so maybe I can help out if you want to give some specifics, or have a specific question.  How much do you make, and what does the insurance bill come to? Mike — From Seattle, WA – Seahawks, cinema, science and more at http://kohary.simplenet.com Seahawks:   http://kohary.simplenet.com/hawks.htm Cinema:     http://kohary.simplenet.com/movies.htm Science:    http://kohary.simplenet.com/science.htm

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