Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > My own personal experience yesterday – > A small girl, 3-4 years old, standing in her driveway. I did not see > what transpired before this. An adult male (ostensibly the parent) appears > very angry at her, and approaches from the roadway to where she is near > the house. > She realizes this, and freezes in her tracks, with her arms in tight to > her chest, her hands at her face in a defensive posture. As he gets there, > he raises his left hand well over his head, and this beautiful child > convulsed in the most pitiful defensive way imaginable – head down and > hands covering face, elbows drawn in, slight crouch to protect her > midsection. > This lovely child was cowering like any dog I’ve ever seen who was > badly beaten. He never did hit her, not while I was passing by anyway. > Good for the child, and good for me too because with the anger I felt, I’m > not certain I would have been able to control it had he laid a hand on > her. > The question in my mind is; what has this parent accomplished? A good > course of discipline, whereby the child can understand between right and > wrong? Or has she simply learned the fear of potential injury or death, > one of the most basic fears we have as human beings?
She has learned fear of potential injury — but the potential injury is not from cars, not from the street, but from the hands of her supposedly "loving" parent on whom she is dependent for nurturing, for guidance, and indeed, her very survival. How tragic! LaVonne
Response:
A side but related note. The test to determine if a dog has been abused is to raise a hand above your head and quickly move it toward the dog. If the dog cowers, they have been subject to abuse (ie. hitting) before. This is a sad case of a child that is terrified of the parent that is supposed to love and not hurt it. Sickening! Glen. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Apparently you do not understand the difference between discipline and >punishment. Punishment is what happens after the child has erred; discipline is >training and guidance. >Sharon
Response:
> If you would like to read the entire discussion pick up the book "To > Spank or not to Spank". I forget the author, but he says he’s > pro-spanking.
Author is John Rosemund.
Response:
The following is from the Toronto Star, Tue., June 17, 1997 (Reprinted with gratitude, but without permission) SPARE THE ROD, SPARE KIDS SCARS FOR LIFE By Shelley L. Jones My five kids and I were enjoying lunch at our favorite local restaurant when I heard from a nearby table the unmistakable sound of a loud smack – and a crying child. Next, an angry parent threatened more punishment. As we watched the scene unfold, my horrified mind registered many facts. First, I had once worn the shoes of that child. I, too, was disciplined daily by corporal punishment. Second, I was once that parent. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my parents dearly and I completely understand that during their era of parenting, spanking a child was an accepted form of discipline. And being raised with physical punishment for each misdemeanor, big or small, I followed the only child-rearing lesson that had been passed on to me: Spare the rod and spoil the child. I put these methods of child-rearing into practice when I plunged into parenthood at an early age. It is with shame that I recall the first "sound whipping" my first-born daughter received at my hands. I was 19 and she was 14 months old – a beautiful baby girl I love dearly. She was crying incessantly at 3 a.m. I was exhausted. I was pregnant again and newly separated from my spouse. But my stress was no excuse for the spankings I gave her that night. Today, there is much controversy surrounding the issue of corporal punishment. Should parents have the right to use, as the law is worded, "reasonable physical force" in disciplining their child? As one who has been there, I want to shout "No!" I know the old-fashioned "discipline" takes a terrible toll. I can only speak from experience: Each spanking scars a child, if not on the outside then definitely on the inside. These inner emotional scars take much longer to heal. Surely, those of us who were disciplined by corporal punishment can recall the feelings of unworthiness and shame, of being unloved, that followed each spanking. These are wounds that can follow children into adulthood, making them susceptible to violent outbursts, perfectionism, depression, low self-esteem, delinquent behavior…. Am I exaggerating? Is a "tap or two" on the child’s behind necessary and harmless in the teaching of morals and good behavior? I think the question we really need to ask ourselves is, Are we teaching the child that hitting is acceptable? If violence is okay, the cycle can continue: More horrific stories of wives who have been killed by jealous abusive partners, children beaten to death by crack-addicted, abusive mothers. Until society accepts that other methods of child discipline need to be learned and practised in every home, violence will continue to permeate our lives. No further comment required. – IG (delete SPAMMENOT from address to reply) —
| Ivan Gowch I dogmatize and am contradicted, | | And sentiments I find delight. | | - Samuel Johnson | – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Now dont get me wrong but I believe that if more kids were disciplined(yes that sometimes mean spankings)that juvenile centers,jails,and prisons would be less full. The Bible says that he who spareth the rod hates his son(prov 13:24) I believe that while a child is young you should train him/her in the way that they should go. Sometimes when they get out of hand discipline is in order. Now dont think I sit home all day and beat my kids because I dont. If parents dont make their kids accept their authority the kids wont accept no ones authority. They will be like I dont have to listen to my parents , why should I listen to you. Then that child will go to misbehave in school and later on in society. Please dont take what I’m saying out of context . I dont promote the beating of children. I just believe that a smack or two on the bottom now may save you from shame at what they have become later.
Response:
My own personal experience yesterday – A small girl, 3-4 years old, standing in her driveway. I did not see what transpired before this. An adult male (ostensibly the parent) appears very angry at her, and approaches from the roadway to where she is near the house. She realizes this, and freezes in her tracks, with her arms in tight to her chest, her hands at her face in a defensive posture. As he gets there, he raises his left hand well over his head, and this beautiful child convulsed in the most pitiful defensive way imaginable – head down and hands covering face, elbows drawn in, slight crouch to protect her midsection. This lovely child was cowering like any dog I’ve ever seen who was badly beaten. He never did hit her, not while I was passing by anyway. Good for the child, and good for me too because with the anger I felt, I’m not certain I would have been able to control it had he laid a hand on her. The question in my mind is; what has this parent accomplished? A good course of discipline, whereby the child can understand between right and wrong? Or has she simply learned the fear of potential injury or death, one of the most basic fears we have as human beings? I think it’s the second case, and I have every reason by her reaction to believe this fear has grown from past experience with this adult, or others like him. Can you imagine a more pitiful scenario? I cannot. Greg Lubianetzky – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The following is from the Toronto Star, Tue., June 17, 1997 > (Reprinted with gratitude, but without permission) > SPARE THE ROD, SPARE KIDS SCARS FOR LIFE > By Shelley L. Jones > My five kids and I were enjoying lunch at our favorite > local restaurant when I heard from a nearby table the > unmistakable sound of a loud smack – and a crying child. > Next, an angry parent threatened more punishment. > As we watched the scene unfold, my horrified mind > registered many facts. > First, I had once worn the shoes of that child. I, too, > was disciplined daily by corporal punishment. > Second, I was once that parent. > Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my parents dearly and > I completely understand that during their era of parenting, > spanking a child was an accepted form of discipline. > And being raised with physical punishment for each > misdemeanor, big or small, I followed the only child-rearing > lesson that had been passed on to me: Spare the rod and spoil the > child. > I put these methods of child-rearing into practice when I > plunged into parenthood at an early age. It is with shame that I > recall the first "sound whipping" my first-born daughter received > at my hands. > I was 19 and she was 14 months old – a beautiful baby > girl I love dearly. She was crying incessantly at 3 a.m. > I was exhausted. I was pregnant again and newly separated > from my spouse. But my stress was no excuse for the spankings I > gave her that night. > Today, there is much controversy surrounding the issue of > corporal punishment. > Should parents have the right to use, as the law is > worded, "reasonable physical force" in disciplining their child? > As one who has been there, I want to shout "No!" I know > the old-fashioned "discipline" takes a terrible toll. > I can only speak from experience: Each spanking scars a > child, if not on the outside then definitely on the inside. These > inner emotional scars take much longer to heal. > Surely, those of us who were disciplined by corporal > punishment can recall the feelings of unworthiness and shame, of > being unloved, that followed each spanking. > These are wounds that can follow children into adulthood, > making them susceptible to violent outbursts, perfectionism, > depression, low self-esteem, delinquent behavior…. > Am I exaggerating? > Is a "tap or two" on the child’s behind necessary and > harmless in the teaching of morals and good behavior? > I think the question we really need to ask ourselves > is, Are we teaching the child that hitting is acceptable? > If violence is okay, the cycle can continue: More > horrific stories of wives who have been killed by jealous > abusive partners, children beaten to death by crack-addicted, > abusive mothers. > Until society accepts that other methods of child > discipline need to be learned and practised in every home, > violence will continue to permeate our lives. > No further comment required. – IG > (delete SPAMMENOT from address to reply) > — > | Ivan Gowch I dogmatize and am contradicted, | > | And sentiments I find delight. | > | - Samuel Johnson |
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.