Question:
I live in a townhouse complex and I am amazed at the number of parents that let their children run wild around here! There’s one family in particular who have a *three* year old child that wanders all over the complex all day long by herself. She’s always filthy, rarely wears shoes, etc. There was even one day that the skies grew dark and the wind picked up and eventually thunder could be heard in the distance and I saw her wandering about outside. I told her to go home because it was going to rain – a storm was coming. She wouldn’t go and no one came looking for her. (I couldn’t take her home because my daughter was napping.) I sent one of my older kids to find her six year old sister to come take her home. What’s wrong with these parents!! As if all this isn’t bad enough, the mother just gave birth to another girl (making a total of three kids in this family) that I now see the six year old pushing around in a baby carriage with the mother nowhere in sight!!!! The other day the three year old was sitting on the edge of the carriage with the baby in it and the six year old was chatting with her friend paying no attention at all! (Yes, I went over and took the three year old off the carriage.) This is so frustrating to watch! I wonder if the mother’s pregnant again. I figure she could be and why not? It’s easy to have lots of kids when you don’t care for any of them. Rachel, frustrated
Response:
If it seems that the parents are negligent to the point of danger, you could place a call to Child Protective Services who could make a visit and see if the children are in a dangerous situation. Or put an anonymous flyer about parenting classes in her mailbox. Or, perhaps as a first step, you could get to know the mother (unless she seems like a dangerous person herself) and maybe set up a time that she could come visit you with her kids (like a playdate) and while the three year old is there, perhaps say, "Oh, my goodness, you’ve got something on your face." Then to the mother, "Do you mind if I wash her face? Looks like she’s been playing pretty hard." Sometimes just an example of good parenting helps you learn. I have one sister who never finished high school and she has three kids. She gets so overwhelmed that for a few months I never heard her say anything nice to her kids; it was all criticism. I "made up" a magazine article I told her I read that says that if you say one negative thing to your child, you should find two nice things to say to him. Then I laughed and said, "Boy it sure is hard to do that sometimes, huh?" I’m sure you can get a feeling for what kind of help your neighbor needs. Good luck.
Response:
>I live in a townhouse complex and I am amazed at the number of parents >that let their children run wild around here! There’s one family in >particular who have a *three* year old child that wanders all over the >complex all day long by herself. She’s always filthy, rarely wears <snip> >six year old pushing around in a baby carriage with the mother nowhere >in sight!!!! The other day the three year old was sitting on the edge >of the carriage with the baby in it and the six year old was chatting >with her friend paying no attention at all! (Yes, I went over and >took the three year old off the carriage.)
Is there really any adult home to watch them? I just moved out of a complex where the same problem was rampant. In fact, 3 weeks before I moved, the apartment next door burned out (along with the one upstairs from it) because there were 7 – SEVEN – kids ages 12 and under playing with fireworks. No adults around. (I was lucky, my apt only got smoke damaged.) The only reason they didn’t have those kids taken away is that technically (by state law) the 12 yr old was old enough to babysit. Yeah right, 6 other kids??? I know it sounds harsh, but you might check with the state child welfare agency and find out what the laws are on ages for kids to be left alone. If there is no one home with those kids, child welfare has the right to investigate and remove the children if neglect is found. Yes, I know it would be better for the parents to take charge. But if they aren’t going to provide care, then isn’t it better that SOMEONE does? Ann
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