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	<title>Pure Parents &#187; Parenting Help</title>
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		<title>5 year old boy needs toughining up..help!</title>
		<link>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/5-year-old-boy-needs-toughining-up-help-123832.html</link>
		<comments>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/5-year-old-boy-needs-toughining-up-help-123832.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2002 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Parenting Help]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Question:
My son has grown up with his stay at home Mom and myself. He is not spoiled&#44;  naturally generous&#44; very kind and the joy of our life BUT I am growing  concerned at his lack of ability to handle pain of any kind. This otherwise  near perfect boy still goes to extremes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4><strong>Question:</strong></h4>
<p>My son has grown up with his stay at home Mom and myself. He is not spoiled&#44;  naturally generous&#44; very kind and the joy of our life BUT I am growing  concerned at his lack of ability to handle pain of any kind. This otherwise  near perfect boy still goes to extremes crying when he gets an &quot;owie&quot;. He  has been challenged with a gymnastics course&#44; swimming lessons&#44; etc and is  not spoiled at all. He does recieve &nbsp;lots of love and has never been spanked  because it was not necessary with him. I am worried that when he gets to  kindergarten in September he will be bullied. Have thought of karate  lessons. Any input would be appreciated. Lest anyone jump to the conclusion&#44;  we are not people that think a boy should never cry but this is a question  of degree. </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; My son has grown up with his stay at home Mom and myself. He is not  spoiled&#44;  &gt; naturally generous&#44; very kind and the joy of our life BUT I am growing  &gt; concerned at his lack of ability to handle pain of any kind. This  otherwise  &gt; near perfect boy still goes to extremes crying when he gets an &quot;owie&quot;. He  &gt; has been challenged with a gymnastics course&#44; swimming lessons&#44; etc and is  &gt; not spoiled at all. He does recieve &nbsp;lots of love and has never been  spanked  &gt; because it was not necessary with him. I am worried that when he gets to  &gt; kindergarten in September he will be bullied. Have thought of karate  &gt; lessons. Any input would be appreciated. Lest anyone jump to the  conclusion&#44;  &gt; we are not people that think a boy should never cry but this is a question  &gt; of degree. </p>
<p>I&#8217;m guessing that he&#8217;s 5 or 6&#44; since he will be starting kindergarten? &nbsp;All  of that depends on the child and how you and your wife have handled his  owies&#8230;. it is my experience that if you don&#8217;t make a &quot;big deal&quot; out of a  little owie&#44; then they won&#8217;t either. &nbsp;What I usually do (and always have  done) with my soon to be 5yr old daughter is let her gage my response. &nbsp;I  mean that if she doesn&#8217;t freak out&#44; neither do I&#8230;or if I see that she is  fine as in after a fall&#8230;then I will say ok &#8212; hop up and brush it off&#8230;  Not at all saying that I am not right there checking&#8230;I just scale down my  panic in order to teach her &nbsp;that it&#8217;s not such a big deal and owies aren&#8217;t  always a reason for hysterics&#8230;.  On the other hand&#44; if your son really isn&#8217;t used to getting owies&#8230;I mean  if he doesn&#8217;t fall a lot or skin a knee or get a bruise (in other words&#44;  he&#8217;s more coordinated than most growing almost schoolers <img src='http://pureparents.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';-)' class='wp-smiley' />  &nbsp;then he  wouldn&#8217;t know how to deal with the pain. &nbsp;In that instance I am no help to  you&#8230;I may be the mom of a girl&#44; but damn she&#8217;s just as rough and tumble as  any boy I&#8217;ve ever seen&#8230;.owies are our life &nbsp; lol!!! &nbsp;Band-Aids and  antibiotic cr</p>
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		<title>Toddler wakes at night &#8211; help sought</title>
		<link>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/toddler-wakes-at-night-help-sought-116158.html</link>
		<comments>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/toddler-wakes-at-night-help-sought-116158.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jul 2000 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Parenting Help]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://pureparents.com/uncategorized/toddler-wakes-at-night-help-sought-116158.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Question:
I&#8217;m sure this is a common problem&#44; but some advice would be most useful&#44; &#38;  maybe help to restore my sleep-deprived brain to its normal state.  My 17-month old daughter usually goes to sleep in her cot at about 8:30 pm&#44;  after the normal soothing ritual of bath&#44; stories&#44; quiet play and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4><strong>Question:</strong></h4>
<p>I&#8217;m sure this is a common problem&#44; but some advice would be most useful&#44; &amp;  maybe help to restore my sleep-deprived brain to its normal state.  My 17-month old daughter usually goes to sleep in her cot at about 8:30 pm&#44;  after the normal soothing ritual of bath&#44; stories&#44; quiet play and so on. She  used to sleep through until about 6 or 7&#44; which was great. She doesn&#8217;t nap  much in the day&#44; &amp; never has &#8211; maybe an hour or so.  But for the last 5 or 6 &nbsp;weeks&#44; she&#8217;s been waking once&#44; twice or more in the  middle of the night&#44; crying loudly. The really tiring thing is that she  takes an age to get back to sleep &#8211; often an hour or more.  I pick her up &amp; she goes limp on my shoulder. I lay her down in the cot &amp;  cover her up. Her breathing becomes regular&#44; and she seems to fall asleep.  As soon as I make any move to leave the room&#44; she&#8217;s standing up again &amp;  crying&#44; shaking the bars of the cot &amp; so on. I&#8217;ve tried waiting&#44; say&#44; 10  minutes before leaving&#44; but she catches me every time.  I&#8217;ve also followed the advice of leaving her to cry for 5 to 10 minutes then  coming back into the room. But that just makes it worse &#8211; she works herself  up into such a frenzy of crying that it takes even longer to settle her. I  don&#8217;t want to leave her more than 10 minutes: she appears capable of keeping  up the noise until dawn if necessary.  She&#8217;s had a recent medical check-up&#44; so I&#8217;m certain that she&#8217;s healthy &amp;  well. During the day she&#8217;s active&#44; well-adjusted &amp; happy &#8211; which is more  than can be said for her bleary-eyed parents <img src='http://pureparents.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />   Any advice gratefully received.  &#8211; &nbsp;Tony &nbsp;- </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; I&#8217;m sure this is a common problem&#44; but some advice would be most useful&#44; &amp;  &gt; maybe help to restore my sleep-deprived brain to its normal state.  &gt; My 17-month old daughter usually goes to sleep in her cot at about 8:30  pm&#44;  &gt; after the normal soothing ritual of bath&#44; stories&#44; quiet play and so on.  She  &gt; used to sleep through until about 6 or 7&#44; which was great. She doesn&#8217;t nap  &gt; much in the day&#44; &amp; never has &#8211; maybe an hour or so.  &gt; But for the last 5 or 6 &nbsp;weeks&#44; she&#8217;s been waking once&#44; twice or more in  the  &gt; middle of the night&#44; crying loudly. The really tiring thing is that she  &gt; takes an age to get back to sleep &#8211; often an hour or more.  &gt; I pick her up &amp; she goes limp on my shoulder. I lay her down in the cot &amp;  &gt; cover her up. Her breathing becomes regular&#44; and she seems to fall asleep.  &gt; As soon as I make any move to leave the room&#44; she&#8217;s standing up again &amp;  &gt; crying&#44; shaking the bars of the cot &amp; so on. I&#8217;ve tried waiting&#44; say&#44; 10  &gt; minutes before leaving&#44; but she catches me every time.  &gt; I&#8217;ve also followed the advice of leaving her to cry for 5 to 10 minutes  then  &gt; coming back into the room. But that just makes it worse &#8211; she works  herself  &gt; up into such a frenzy of crying that it takes even longer to settle her. I  &gt; don&#8217;t want to leave her more than 10 minutes: she appears capable of  keeping  &gt; up the noise until dawn if necessary.  &gt; She&#8217;s had a recent medical check-up&#44; so I&#8217;m certain that she&#8217;s healthy &amp;  &gt; well. During the day she&#8217;s active&#44; well-adjusted &amp; happy &#8211; which is more  &gt; than can be said for her bleary-eyed parents <img src='http://pureparents.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />  </p>
<p>Ain&#8217;t it just so frustrating&#44; and especially when you are tired! &nbsp;Your  daughter may be having nightmares or at least bad dreams. &nbsp;I think she is  about the right age. &nbsp;When my son did that I moved a small rocking chair  into his room and would sit and rock him on my lap for a bit. &nbsp;It seemed to  sooth and break the cycle. &nbsp;But&#44; unfortunately or otherwise&#44; each child is  different and this may or may not be helpful to you.  -Aula </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>I&#8217;m sure this is a common problem&#44; but some advice would be most useful&#44;  It is a common problem&#44; but one we all wish we knew the answer to&#8230;  My now 2 and a half year old did a similar thing&#44; she all of a sudden began  to wake during the night&#44; I tried everything that was suggested to me until  my doctor suggested breaking the cycle of her waking by trying some  phenergan&#44; it&#8217;s a very mild sedative for children&#44;  I found that this did work for her&#44; but as you know&#44; all children are  different.  but please see your doctor before trying this&#44; as it may not be the right  move for you&#8230;.  good luck !  I know how you feel&#8230;..  Michelle </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>I&#8217;m sure this is a common problem&#44; but some advice would be most  useful&#44; &amp; maybe help to restore my sleep-deprived brain to its normal  state.   My 17-month old daughter usually goes to sleep in her cot at about 8:30  pm&#44; after the normal soothing ritual of bath&#44; stories&#44; quiet play and  so on. She used to sleep through until about 6 or 7&#44; which was great.  She doesn&#8217;t nap much in the day&#44; &amp; never has &#8211; maybe an hour or so. > Any advice gratefully received.  &gt; &#8211; &nbsp;Tony &nbsp;- </p>
<p>I have some of the same problem too. I know  the crying thing usually works&#44; it takes more  than 1 hour in my case. Mine are still  on the bottle&#44; so just giving them a bottle of  milk in the middle of the night will work. If not&#44;  &nbsp;I just take my pillow and go to sleep  next to my daughter on the floor.  John  http://www.homestead.com/robo224/sharenet.htm  Before you buy. </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>I had no end of problems with my little boy. &nbsp;By 15 months I was getting up  sometimes 5 or 6 times every night and I was so exhausted the only thing  seemed to be to take him to bed with me. &nbsp;Obviously that wasn&#8217;t a solution &#8211;  only a bandaid.  i ended up going to a place called the Queen Elizabeth Centre (Melbourne&#44;  Australia)&#44; which is a parenting help centre. &nbsp;I &#8216;m sure there are others in  many countries.  I went in for 5 days and their advice to me was to set up a strict routine  (at least to begin with) until good sleeping patterns were established. &nbsp;The  most crucial thing is that the child goes to sleep in the bed and not in  someone&#8217;s arms &#8211; otherwise they wake up and are somewhere different to where  they fell asleep which can be distressing for them.  The bath&#44; quiet time&#44; story etc is really important.  If the child wakes&#44; go in&#44; say matter of factly &#8216;it&#8217;s time for sleeping&#8217;&#44;  lay the child down (without picking up) and go out of the room. &nbsp;Only wait  1-2 min. the first time and them increase by 2 min each time. Use a watch &#8211;  it&#8217;s hard at first. Never go more than ten minutes unless the child is only  whimpering &#8211; then DON&quot;T go back in as it often just wakes them up when they  were about to drop off. &nbsp;It could take and hour or more the first couple  times but it is amazing how quickly it works and the child knows you are  never far away.  For some people it may be a phase the child will &#8216;grow out of&#8217;&#44; but children  are creatures of habit&#44; and my life changed dramatically once I started to  get some sleep.  Keep in mind that changes in routine can set things back a bit (don&#8217;t leave  them to cry when they are sick)&#44; but it will only take one or two times to  get back into it again.  Another word of advice &#8211; it only works if you are ready and you stick to  your guns  Good luck  Lisette </p>
<p> &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; I&#8217;m sure this is a common problem&#44; but some advice would be most useful&#44; &amp;  &gt; maybe help to restore my sleep-deprived brain to its normal state.  &gt; My 17-month old daughter usually goes to sleep in her cot at about 8:30  pm&#44;  &gt; after the normal soothing ritual of bath&#44; stories&#44; quiet play and so on.  She  &gt; used to sleep through until about 6 or 7&#44; which was great. She doesn&#8217;t nap  &gt; much in the day&#44; &amp; never has &#8211; maybe an hour or so.  &gt; But for the last 5 or 6 &nbsp;weeks&#44; she&#8217;s been waking once&#44; twice or more in  the  &gt; middle of the night&#44; crying loudly. The really tiring thing is that she  &gt; takes an age to get back to sleep &#8211; often an hour or more.  &gt; I pick her up &amp; she goes limp on my shoulder. I lay her down in the cot &amp;  &gt; cover her up. Her breathing becomes regular&#44; and she seems to fall asleep.  &gt; As soon as I make any move to leave the room&#44; she&#8217;s standing up again &amp;  &gt; crying&#44; shaking the bars of the cot &amp; so on. I&#8217;ve tried waiting&#44; say&#44; 10  &gt; minutes before leaving&#44; but she catches me every time.  &gt; I&#8217;ve also followed the advice of leaving her to cry for 5 to 10 minutes  then  &gt; coming back into the room. But that just makes it worse &#8211; she works  herself  &gt; up into such a frenzy of crying that it takes even longer to settle her. I  &gt; don&#8217;t want to leave her more than 10 minutes: she appears capable of  keeping  &gt; up the noise until dawn if necessary.  &gt; She&#8217;s had a recent medical check-up&#44; so I&#8217;m certain that she&#8217;s healthy &amp;  &gt; well. During the day she&#8217;s active&#44; well-adjusted &amp; happy &#8211; which is more  &gt; than can be said for her bleary-eyed parents <img src='http://pureparents.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />   &gt; Any advice gratefully received.  &gt; &#8211; &nbsp;Tony &nbsp;-  </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; We had exactly the same problem (seems to be a common phase around  &gt; that age). What we did was: a- never leave her crying &#8211; respond as  &gt; quickly as possible when she begins to cry and before it works up into  &gt; serious wailing (we used a baby monitor so we could hear the first  &gt; whimpers)&#44; b- go into her room and soothe her without taking her out  &gt; of the crib (except in case of illness etc). Sometimes she was only  &gt; half awake and picking her up would only have awakened her more&#44; plus  &gt; picking her up would enforce the crying and create an expectation of  &gt; playtime. I would lean over the crib and stroke her back/head&#44; saying  &gt; in a soft voice&#44; &quot;its okay&#44; mommy&#8217;s here&#8230;. lie down now&#8230;. its  &gt; sleepy time&quot;. Room would be dark and I never turned on lights.  &gt; Eventually she would lie down and I would continue stroking her until  &gt; she calmed and seemed to be asleep&#44; then sat for a few minutes longer  &gt; without touching&#44; then left quietly when she seemed asleep.  &gt; It lasted for a few weeks&#44; on and off and then quit suddenly. Now she  &gt; is 22 months and never cries in the night unless she is ill.  &gt; &#8211;Lisa Bell </p>
<p>Lisa  Many thanks &#8211; &amp; thanks to the others above who replied. I shall try the  soothing without taking her out of the cot &#8211; I can see the sense in that.  Probably more reassuring is that everyone says it&#8217;s just a phase. Indeed&#44; to  confound the issue&#44; the little darling slept through last night 8:00 pm to  6:30 am.  I am quickly learning that children are nothing if not changeable.  [OT - for the astrologically minded&#44; she's got her Sun in Pisces&#44; Cancer on  the ascendent&#44; with the Moon in her 1st house. Would seem to indicate she'll  change more often than Madonna's wardrobe <img src='http://pureparents.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />  ]  Again&#44; many thanks.  &#8211; &nbsp;Tony &nbsp;- </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; We had exactly the same problem (seems to be a common phase around  &gt; that age). What we did was: a- never leave her crying &#8211; respond as  &gt; quickly as possible when she begins to cry and before it works up into  &gt; serious wailing (we used a baby monitor so we could hear the first  &gt; whimpers)&#44; b- go into her room and soothe her without taking her out  &gt; of the crib (except in case of illness etc). Sometimes she was only  &gt; half awake and picking her up would only have awakened her more&#44; plus  &gt; picking her up would enforce the crying and create an expectation of  &gt; playtime. I would lean over the crib and stroke her back/head&#44; saying  &gt; in a soft voice&#44; &quot;its okay&#44; mommy&#8217;s here&#8230;. lie down now&#8230;. its  &gt; sleepy time&quot;. Room would be dark and I never turned on lights.  &gt; Eventually she would lie down and I would continue stroking her until  &gt; she calmed and seemed to be asleep&#44; then sat for a few minutes longer  &gt; without touching&#44; then left quietly when she seemed asleep.  &gt; It lasted for a few weeks&#44; on and off and then quit suddenly. Now she  &gt; is 22 months and never cries in the night unless she is ill.  &gt; &#8211;Lisa Bell </p>
<p>This sounds perfect advice to me. &nbsp;Well done.  Annemarie  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text &#8211; </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>We had exactly the same problem (seems to be a common phase around  that age). What we did was: a- never leave her crying &#8211; respond as  quickly as possible when she begins to cry and before it works up into  serious wailing (we used a baby monitor so we could hear the first  whimpers)&#44; b- go into her room and soothe her without taking her out  of the crib (except in case of illness etc). Sometimes she was only  half awake and picking her up would only have awakened her more&#44; plus  picking her up would enforce the crying and create an expectation of  playtime. I would lean over the crib and stroke her back/head&#44; saying  in a soft voice&#44; &quot;its okay&#44; mommy&#8217;s here&#8230;. lie down now&#8230;. its  sleepy time&quot;. Room would be dark and I never turned on lights.  Eventually she would lie down and I would continue stroking her until  she calmed and seemed to be asleep&#44; then sat for a few minutes longer  without touching&#44; then left quietly when she seemed asleep.  It lasted for a few weeks&#44; on and off and then quit suddenly. Now she  is 22 months and never cries in the night unless she is ill.  &#8211;Lisa Bell </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4></p>
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		<title>Gay birds of a feather parent together at Israeli zoo</title>
		<link>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/gay-birds-of-a-feather-parent-together-at-israeli-zoo-190256.html</link>
		<comments>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/gay-birds-of-a-feather-parent-together-at-israeli-zoo-190256.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Sep 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Parenting Help]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Question:
Gay birds of a feather parent together at Israeli zoo  Dashik and Yahuda&#44; two male vultures&#44; have raised two baby birds  &#160;From Correspondent Jerrold Kessel  JERUSALEM (CNN) &#8212; Zoo keepers involved in an ambitious breeding  program for endangered Griffin vultures are getting a helping hand  from a vulture couple that&#44; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4><strong>Question:</strong></h4>
<p>Gay birds of a feather parent together at Israeli zoo  Dashik and Yahuda&#44; two male vultures&#44; have raised two baby birds  &nbsp;From Correspondent Jerrold Kessel  JERUSALEM (CNN) &#8212; Zoo keepers involved in an ambitious breeding  program for endangered Griffin vultures are getting a helping hand  from a vulture couple that&#44; ironically&#44; doesn&#8217;t breed.  Keepers noticed that Dashik and Yahuda&#44; two male vultures at Jerusalem  Biblical Zoo&#44; had built a nest together and were mating. So they  decided to give the couple an artificial egg to see what would happen.  &quot;They were sitting incubating perfectly&#44;&quot; said the zoo&#8217;s head keeper&#44;  Itzik Yadid. &quot;If they are incubating so good&#44; sharing between the two  of them&#44; the next step will be obviously to give them a chick to  raise.&quot;  So far&#44; Dashik and Yahuda have raised two baby birds&#44; Diva and Adi  Gordon&#44; with results that exceeded expectations  &quot;We&#8217;re very proud of them. We think they&#8217;ve done a marvelous job&#44;&quot;  said bird keeper Sharon Sterling. &quot;They&#8217;ve behaved extremely well&#44; the  best parents we&#8217;ve ever seen.&quot;  Keepers had initially thought about separating Dashik and Yahuda and  trying to bring in a female to create a heterosexual vulture couple.  Dashik and Yahuda were given a chick to raise after they were given an  artificial egg to incubate  &quot;And then we said&#44; &#8216;Why should we do it? If they are together&#44; if they  are raising a chick together&#44; why should we separate them?&#8217;&quot; Yadid  said. &quot;So we decided to let them stay together and keep raising chicks  together.&quot;  There is a reason beyond mere curiosity for seeking parenting help  from the gay vultures. Normally&#44; female Griffin vultures lay only one  egg a year. But if the egg is taken from the mother&#44; she will lay a  second egg&#44; a process known as &quot;double clutching.&quot;  So by providing suitable surrogate parents for the eggs that are  taken&#44; bird keepers can increase the number of vultures that are bred.  Griffin vultures&#44; once a common sight in the Mideast&#44; have nearly  disappeared. The zoo is trying to reintroduce them through the  breeding program.  &nbsp;Share what you know. Learn what you don&#8217;t. </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>We had a pair of male Zebra finches that were together for over 10  years. They nested &amp; &quot;mated&quot; regularly. No matter how many single  females we put in the cage with them&#44; they weren&#8217;t interested. We  never tried giving them eggs to sit on though. They even died within a  few months of each other. It was kind of sweet.  &#8211;P  Visit Melanie&#8217;s Room  Science&#44; animals and stuff for Kids  http://www.interlog.com/~rees/melaniesroom </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>Both our sun conures and lovebirds (all females) nest and &quot;mate&quot; regularly.  They take turns sitting on the eggs and bring food to each other. &nbsp;Meanwhile  our Goffins (male and female) are strictly platonic. &nbsp;I guess the breeder was  right when she offered us Nick. &nbsp;In the years he was with her (he&#8217;s 18 now) he  only had one bird he was interested in&#8230;..Fred.  Gayle and Chris  &lt;a href=http://www.angelfire.com/ny/gaydar/feathered.html&gt;you can check out our  flock here. </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>This looks like a clear case of one of those &quot;prison relationships&quot;&#44; brought  about by inadequate availability of a proper heterosexual mate. The male birds  should be split up and put with proper female birds. I doubt that the babies  they are raising will grow up to have proper behavior.  &nbsp; &nbsp;Ian Kerfoot  &nbsp; &nbsp;The Banyan Tree Homepage  &nbsp; &nbsp;http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/4287 </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>I hope that was said with your tongue planted firmly in your cheek.  &#8212;  Spanky  &quot;But I don&#8217;t want to go among mad people&#44;&quot; Alice remarked.  &quot;Oh&#44; you can&#8217;t help that&#44;&quot; said the Cat: &quot;we&#8217;re all mad here. I&#8217;m mad.  You&#8217;re mad.&quot;  &quot;How do you know I&#8217;m mad?&quot; said Alice.  &quot;You must be&#44;&quot; said the Cat&#44; &quot;or you wouldn&#8217;t have come here.&quot; </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt; I hope that was said with your tongue planted firmly in your cheek. </p>
<p>So do I.  &#8212;  Marco  -Voodoo Man For Hire-  Auntie Emme:  Hate Kansas&#44; Hate the weather&#44; taking the dog&#8230;  Love&#44; Dorothy. </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>go get &#8216;um&#44; J!!  &#8212;  Spanky  &quot;But I don&#8217;t want to go among mad people&#44;&quot; Alice remarked.  &quot;Oh&#44; you can&#8217;t help that&#44;&quot; said the Cat: &quot;we&#8217;re all mad here. I&#8217;m mad.  You&#8217;re mad.&quot;  &quot;How do you know I&#8217;m mad?&quot; said Alice.  &quot;You must be&#44;&quot; said the Cat&#44; &quot;or you wouldn&#8217;t have come here.&quot; </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>Sure wish you guys would post the original message so those of us who  haven&#8217;t seen it would know what you are talking about! &nbsp;I&#8217;ve been on  vacation and missed this one. &nbsp;:-(  &#8212;  Mary  Sparky&#8217;s Homepage is the place to go if you want to learn about the grey  Congo! &nbsp; &quot;www.neta.com/~tarnold/sparky.html&quot;  &quot;She was not quite what I would call refined&#44;  &quot;She was not quite what I would call unrefined&#44;  &quot;She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.&quot;  Mark Twain </p>
<p> &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; This looks like a clear case of one of those &quot;prison relationships&quot;&#44;  brought  &gt; about by inadequate availability of a proper heterosexual mate. The male  birds  &gt; should be split up and put with proper female birds. I doubt that the  babies  &gt; they are raising will grow up to have proper behavior.  &gt; &nbsp; &nbsp;Ian Kerfoot  &gt; &nbsp; &nbsp;The Banyan Tree Homepage  &gt; &nbsp; &nbsp;http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/Vines/4287  </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>&gt;Sure wish you guys would post the original message so those of us who  &gt;haven&#8217;t seen it would know what you are talking about! &nbsp;I&#8217;ve been on  &gt;vacation and missed this one. &nbsp;:-(  &gt;&#8211;  &gt;Mary </p>
<p>Please let us know exactly when you were on vacation so that everything you  missed can be reposted for you. &nbsp;Would you like the reposts in chronological or  alphabetical order?  Better yet&#44; try deja.com and put a little tiny-bit of effort into getting the  original post&#44; rather than have us hand feed it to your ever-widening fat ass.  The &nbsp;one&#44; the only&#44; the original  Mr. Jynx ( MJ ) </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt; Sure wish you guys would post the original message so those of us who  &gt; haven&#8217;t seen it would know what you are talking about! &nbsp;I&#8217;ve been on  &gt; vacation and missed this one. &nbsp;:-( </p>
<p>Don&#8217;t worry&#44; Mary. &nbsp;I don&#8217;t think you missed much. &nbsp;It was about a couple  of bonded male birdies who are incubating some fertile eggs and they were  labelled &quot;gay&quot;. &nbsp;What a crock! &nbsp;I am the furthest thing from a gay basher  ever born&#44; but when people start calling critters &quot;gay&quot; and when they talk  about critters &quot;having sex&quot; or &quot;trying to breed my arm&quot;&#44; I go ballistic.  Andee </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt;original post&#44; rather than have us hand feed it to your ever-widening fat ass. </p>
<p>So how do you know her ass is fat?  She could possibly have a skinny ass&#44; you never know.  Denise Lane  The Busy Bride &#8211; Wedding Invitations&#44; Accessories &amp; More! </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt; So how do you know her ass is fat?  &gt; She could possibly have a skinny ass&#44; you never know. </p>
<p>It is the &quot;ever widening&quot; part that hit close to home!!!!!!  (Besides&#44; I have not heard anyone criticizing Jennifer Lopez&#8217;  big wide bubble butt! No men&#44; that is!). &nbsp;  Andee </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>  &gt; It is the &quot;ever widening&quot; part that hit close to home!!!!!!  &gt; (Besides&#44; I have not heard anyone criticizing Jennifer Lopez&#8217;  &gt; big wide bubble butt! No men&#44; that is!). </p>
<p>You tell a man that he has a big ass and he&#8217;ll just tell you that you can&#8217;t  drive a stake with a tack hammer. &nbsp;&lt;VBG&gt;  Dan  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; Andee  </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt; You tell a man that he has a big ass and he&#8217;ll just tell you that you can&#8217;t  &gt; drive a stake with a tack hammer. &nbsp;&lt;VBG&gt;  &gt; Dan </p>
<p>I&#8217;d never heard that one. &nbsp;I think you made it up just now!  It&#8217;s hilarious. &nbsp;  Andee </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>MJ has an ass for a head&#44; so he doesn&#8217;t really have a fair perspective.  Kellie  &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text ->original post&#44; rather than have us hand feed it to your ever-widening fat ass.  &gt; So how do you know her ass is fat?  &gt; She could possibly have a skinny ass&#44; you never know.  &gt; Denise Lane  &gt; The Busy Bride &#8211; Wedding Invitations&#44; Accessories &amp; More!  </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>Here&#8217;s an assicon for a wise ass: &nbsp;(_o^^o_) &nbsp;Perhaps we can start using this  in place of his name when referring to him. &nbsp;LOL  &#8212;  Mary  Sparky&#8217;s Homepage is the place to go if you want to learn about the grey  Congo! &nbsp; &quot;www.neta.com/~tarnold/sparky.html&quot;  &quot;She was not quite what I would call refined&#44;  &quot;She was not quite what I would call unrefined&#44;  &quot;She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.&quot;  Mark Twain </p>
<p> &#8211; Hide quoted text &#8212; Show quoted text -&gt; MJ has an ass for a head&#44; so he doesn&#8217;t really have a fair perspective.  &gt; Kellie > &gt;original post&#44; rather than have us hand feed it to your ever-widening  fat ass. > So how do you know her ass is fat? > She could possibly have a skinny ass&#44; you never know. > Denise Lane > The Busy Bride &#8211; Wedding Invitations&#44; Accessories &amp; More!  </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4></p>
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		<title>HMMM&#8230; When did things change??</title>
		<link>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/hmmm-when-did-things-change-115590.html</link>
		<comments>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/hmmm-when-did-things-change-115590.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Feb 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Parenting Help]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://pureparents.com/uncategorized/hmmm-when-did-things-change-115590.html</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Question:
Hello all&#44; I have been offline for a couple of months and I&#8217;m wondering when  this became such a forum for religion. &#160;Not that I knock religion or  anything&#44; I just seem to see a lot of it. &#160;I missed the parenting help we are  all here for. &#160;Maybe that is what [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4><strong>Question:</strong></h4>
<p>Hello all&#44; I have been offline for a couple of months and I&#8217;m wondering when  this became such a forum for religion. &nbsp;Not that I knock religion or  anything&#44; I just seem to see a lot of it. &nbsp;I missed the parenting help we are  all here for. &nbsp;Maybe that is what we should all stick to. &nbsp;Save religion for  some other group. &nbsp;But then again&#44; I have thought the same thing about other  topics as well. &nbsp;Just my 2 cents. &nbsp;I&#8217;m glad to be back reading this ng  regularly anyway!  Maureen </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt;Hello all&#44; I have been offline for a couple of months and I&#8217;m wondering when  &gt;this became such a forum for religion. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Not that I knock religion or  &gt;anything&#44; I just seem to see a lot of it. &nbsp;I missed the parenting help we are  &gt;all here for. &nbsp;Maybe that is what we should all stick to. &nbsp;Save religion for  &gt;some other group. &nbsp;But then again&#44; I have thought the same thing about other  &gt;topics as well. &nbsp;Just my 2 cents. &nbsp;I&#8217;m glad to be back reading this ng  &gt;regularly anyway! </p>
<p>Religion isn&#8217;t really off topic in a parenting ng. When Max&#44; the resident troll  first came in&#44; it wasn&#8217;t obvious he was a troll. &nbsp;Now we know &quot;she&quot; is a &quot;he&quot;  and doing it for kicks. &nbsp;  When it comes to parenting and discussing children&#44; there&#8217;s very little that  should be considered off topic but everyone has the ability to skip the threads  they don&#8217;t like/know anything about/etc.  And welcome back <img src='http://pureparents.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' />   Kendra  http://www.geocities.com/heartland/lane/6516  *See my Valentines Day page!*  &#8212;  &quot;If a man speaks in a forest&#44; and there isn&#8217;t a woman around to hear him: Is he  still wrong?&quot; </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4></p>
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		<title>Parenting Help</title>
		<link>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/parenting-help-115326.html</link>
		<comments>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/parenting-help-115326.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 May 1998 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Parenting Help]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Question:
Hi &#8212; &#160;  If you are a new parent looking for all the support you can&#44; then stop by the  American Baby Chat room at parent soup. &#160;Read all the details below.  Wednesday&#44; May 6th  12 p.m.- 1 p.m.at www.parentsoup.com  Talk to Judith Nolte&#44; Editor-In-Chief of American Baby Magazine!  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4><strong>Question:</strong></h4>
<p>Hi &#8212; &nbsp;  If you are a new parent looking for all the support you can&#44; then stop by the  American Baby Chat room at parent soup. &nbsp;Read all the details below.  Wednesday&#44; May 6th  12 p.m.- 1 p.m.at www.parentsoup.com  Talk to Judith Nolte&#44; Editor-In-Chief of American Baby Magazine!  (pregnancycircle)  This Month&#8217;s Topic: &nbsp;&quot;After Baby: Your Support Systems&quot;  The days and weeks following the birth of your child are both a wonderful and  difficult time of physical and emotional adjustment. &nbsp;Please join host  Psbusyb123 and Judith Nolte to discuss how to plan for and get the support  you&#8217;ll need &nbsp;from family&#44; friends&#44; support groups and professionals. Five  American Baby Gift Packs will be given away at random during this chat.  Jeffrey DeMarrais  Wiley Computer Publishnig </p>
</p>
<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>I came across some helpful parenting seminars on AOL at BlackVoices. &nbsp;They  meet every other Thursday between 9 and 10&#44; I believe. &nbsp;I&#8217;ve gotten some good  feedback&#8230; it has course info online before each session &#8212; that in and of  itself could be helpful. </p>
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		<title>Bad Parents in Complex &#8211; Frustrating!!!!</title>
		<link>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/bad-parents-in-complex-frustrating-115060.html</link>
		<comments>http://pureparents.com/parenting-help/bad-parents-in-complex-frustrating-115060.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Sep 1996 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Parenting Help]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Question:
I live in a townhouse complex and I am amazed at the number of parents  that let their children run wild around here! &#160;There&#8217;s one family in  particular who have a *three* year old child that wanders all over the  complex all day long by herself. &#160;She&#8217;s always filthy&#44; rarely wears  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4><strong>Question:</strong></h4>
<p>I live in a townhouse complex and I am amazed at the number of parents  that let their children run wild around here! &nbsp;There&#8217;s one family in  particular who have a *three* year old child that wanders all over the  complex all day long by herself. &nbsp;She&#8217;s always filthy&#44; rarely wears  shoes&#44; etc. &nbsp;There was even one day that the skies grew dark and the  wind picked up and eventually thunder could be heard in the distance  and I saw her wandering about outside. &nbsp;I told her to go home because  it was going to rain &#8211; a storm was coming. &nbsp;She wouldn&#8217;t go and no one  came looking for her. &nbsp;(I couldn&#8217;t take her home because my daughter  was napping.) &nbsp;I sent one of my older kids to find her six year old  sister to come take her home. &nbsp;What&#8217;s wrong with these parents!! &nbsp;As  if all this isn&#8217;t bad enough&#44; the mother just gave birth to another  girl (making a total of three kids in this family) that I now see the  six year old pushing around in a baby carriage with the mother nowhere  in sight!!!! &nbsp;The other day the three year old was sitting on the edge  of the carriage with the baby in it and the six year old was chatting  with her friend paying no attention at all! &nbsp;(Yes&#44; I went over and  took the three year old off the carriage.) &nbsp;  This is so frustrating to watch! &nbsp;I wonder if the mother&#8217;s pregnant  again. &nbsp;I figure she could be and why not? &nbsp;It&#8217;s easy to have lots of  kids when you don&#8217;t care for any of them.  Rachel&#44; frustrated </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p>If it seems that the parents are negligent to the point of danger&#44; you  could place a call to Child Protective Services who could make a visit and  see if the children are in a dangerous situation. &nbsp; Or put an anonymous  flyer about parenting classes in her mailbox. &nbsp;Or&#44; perhaps as a first  step&#44; you could get to know the mother (unless she seems like a dangerous  person herself) and maybe set up a time that she could come visit you with  her kids (like a playdate) and while the three year old is there&#44; perhaps  say&#44; &quot;Oh&#44; my goodness&#44; you&#8217;ve got something on your face.&quot; &nbsp;Then to the  mother&#44; &quot;Do you mind if I wash her face? &nbsp; Looks like she&#8217;s been playing  pretty hard.&quot; &nbsp; Sometimes just an example of good parenting helps you  learn.  &nbsp; &nbsp;I have one sister who never finished high school and she has three  kids. &nbsp;She gets so overwhelmed that for a few months I never heard her say  anything nice to her kids; it was all criticism. &nbsp;I &quot;made up&quot; a magazine  article I told her I read that says that if you say one negative thing to  your child&#44; you should find two nice things to say to him. &nbsp;Then I laughed  and said&#44; &quot;Boy it sure is hard to do that sometimes&#44; huh?&quot; &nbsp;  &nbsp; I&#8217;m sure you can get a feeling for what kind of help your neighbor  needs. &nbsp;Good luck. </p>
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<h4><strong>Response:</strong></h4>
<p> &gt;I live in a townhouse complex and I am amazed at the number of parents  &gt;that let their children run wild around here! &nbsp;There&#8217;s one family in  &gt;particular who have a *three* year old child that wanders all over the  &gt;complex all day long by herself. &nbsp;She&#8217;s always filthy&#44; rarely wears  &lt;snip&gt;  &gt;six year old pushing around in a baby carriage with the mother nowhere  &gt;in sight!!!! &nbsp;The other day the three year old was sitting on the edge  &gt;of the carriage with the baby in it and the six year old was chatting  &gt;with her friend paying no attention at all! &nbsp;(Yes&#44; I went over and  &gt;took the three year old off the carriage.) &nbsp; </p>
<p>Is there really any adult home to watch them? &nbsp;I just moved out of a  complex where the same problem was rampant. &nbsp;In fact&#44; 3 weeks before I  moved&#44; the apartment next door burned out (along with the one upstairs  from it) because there were 7 &#8211; SEVEN &#8211; kids ages 12 and under playing  with fireworks. &nbsp;No adults around. &nbsp;(I was lucky&#44; my apt only got  smoke damaged.) &nbsp;The only reason they didn&#8217;t have those kids taken  away is that technically (by state law) the 12 yr old was old enough  to babysit. &nbsp;Yeah right&#44; 6 other kids???  I know it sounds harsh&#44; but you might check with the state child  welfare agency and find out what the laws are on ages for kids to be  left alone. &nbsp;If there is no one home with those kids&#44; child welfare  has the right to investigate and remove the children if neglect is  found. &nbsp;Yes&#44; I know it would be better for the parents to take charge.  But if they aren&#8217;t going to provide care&#44; then isn&#8217;t it better that  SOMEONE does?  Ann </p>
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