Pure Parents

Question:

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Hi Lori: When I started this group a few years ago, I chose not to make it moderated and it was intended to be the place you thought is would be:  a caring and sharing newsgroup (is there really such a thing?) where I would post articles about different situations and questions that come up in parenting especially about control issues, discipline, etc. It seems to me and several others that other people don’t seem to share that desire.  There is a lot of cross posting from the Spanking group and a few others.  I’m sorry now that I didn’t make it a moderated group and don’t have the time to moderate it properly. If there are any volunteers who want to help moderate with me, I will be happy to check to see if it’s possible to switch it from unmoderated to moderated.  But I need to know that the volunteers are serious and will be willing to help long term.  I’m frequently out of the country so I couldn’t manage it alone. I also think that with the fighting and arguing and judgemental thinking by some people I’ve seen join this group or who have crossposted to it, it’s no wonder they’re having problems with their kids. KIDS MODEL WHAT THEY SEE! Lois – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> When I first started reading this group, I though it would be very helpful > because of the title "Parenting Solution".  Being a mother of an only > child, I have many concerns and problems that I need advice on.  I have > found it is very helpful to be able to discuss my concerns with other > parents who have gone through the same situation. > Recently, however, I am beginning to think that the title should be change > to "Parents Who Want to Argue About Who Is Right".  We are all adults here > and we all should realize that no everyone else in the world thinks the > way we do.  That does not mean they are wrong, they just simply have > different ideas about the way things should be handled. > Now when I read the posts, approximately 75% or more of them are different > parents bashing each other back and forth for weeks over the same subject. >  It is never about solutions, it is about trying to prove who is right and > who is wrong.  Come on people, what kind of parents are we if we teach our > children that anyone who thinks differently from them is wrong and is > therefore lesser of a person?  Is this the image we want to project? > I do realize that is is very tempting to lash out at someone who posts a > message that you are totally opposed to but keep in mind, they are people > too and they are entitled to their own beliefs.  I choose to ignore the > rash statements made by some, such as "beat his behind" or "you are not a > good parent because you work".  While I do not agree with some posts, I am > adult enough to realize that many people are going to have different views > than myself and that, no matter how many times we post back and forth, it > is very unlikely that person is going to change their views. > Can we please try to concentrate on why this group is here and what we all > want to achieve?  Let’s not set a bad example for our children, okay? > Lori

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Response:

When I first started reading this group, I though it would be very helpful because of the title "Parenting Solution".  Being a mother of an only child, I have many concerns and problems that I need advice on.  I have found it is very helpful to be able to discuss my concerns with other parents who have gone through the same situation. Recently, however, I am beginning to think that the title should be change to "Parents Who Want to Argue About Who Is Right".  We are all adults here and we all should realize that no everyone else in the world thinks the way we do.  That does not mean they are wrong, they just simply have different ideas about the way things should be handled. Now when I read the posts, approximately 75% or more of them are different parents bashing each other back and forth for weeks over the same subject.  It is never about solutions, it is about trying to prove who is right and who is wrong.  Come on people, what kind of parents are we if we teach our children that anyone who thinks differently from them is wrong and is therefore lesser of a person?  Is this the image we want to project? I do realize that is is very tempting to lash out at someone who posts a message that you are totally opposed to but keep in mind, they are people too and they are entitled to their own beliefs.  I choose to ignore the rash statements made by some, such as "beat his behind" or "you are not a good parent because you work".  While I do not agree with some posts, I am adult enough to realize that many people are going to have different views than myself and that, no matter how many times we post back and forth, it is very unlikely that person is going to change their views. Can we please try to concentrate on why this group is here and what we all want to achieve?  Let’s not set a bad example for our children, okay? Lori

Response: