Question:
Hi EveryOne… I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or so ago and has persistently expressed fears related to it ever since. He doesn’t mention Nightmare’s per se but is constantly afraid to travel about the house un-attended: especially his bedroom. I’ve tried: 1. Rationally discussing the ‘pretend’ nature of the movie in the past. 2. Escorting him while adding greater and greater distances between us, but he will revert back to square one, over and over. 3. Discussed w/him ideas he might have to combat these fears as far as lights and re-arranging things but so far no luck. He uses our dog as an escort whenever he can convince him to follow him around. Unfortunately, this has digressed to the point where he has reverted back to sleeping in my room again. This occurs distinctly at Non-bedtimes and I gave up insisting that he sleep in his own room over three months ago to see if these fears could gently recede but they have not. I recently let him know that we are going to re-do his room to make it as ‘Friendly’ as possible so he can begin sleeping in there again. We have always done an elaborate bedtime ritual including storytime/prayers. He loves Harry Potter books and actually reads them himself now. The main character / story line often surrounds defeating/coping with magical creatures in what seems like a healthy way. I wanted any ideas on how to help him work through these fears. Should I watch the movie w/him and try to sterilize the parts that have surely grown greatly in his imagination ??? Other movies like Men In Black haven’t bothered him. Thanx.
Response:
Your ideas are all good, but here’s another one – Would he freak out if you bought a book on Ancient Egypt, talked about mummies, and then took him to a museum to see a real mummy? Perhaps you could visit the museum the day before, explain the situation to a guard, and ask him to show your son how the mummy’s case is very strong, and the museum is heavily guarded, with state-of-the art security. Maybe he would be so fascinated with learning about Ancient Egypt, that the horror movie would gradually fade from his mind. PS – I was also terrified of The Mummy – but the older version – and I remember begging my Dad to walk me to my bedroom for several nights. My Dad is dead now, but I will always appreciate how he always took my fears seriously. Margaret – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hi EveryOne… >I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our >problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or >so ago and has persistently expressed fears related to it ever since. He >doesn’t mention Nightmare’s per se but is constantly afraid to travel about >the house un-attended: especially his bedroom. >I’ve tried: >1. Rationally discussing the ‘pretend’ nature of the movie in the past. >2. Escorting him while adding greater and greater distances between us, but >he will revert back to square one, over and over. >3. Discussed w/him ideas he might have to combat these fears as far as >lights and re-arranging things but so far no luck. >He uses our dog as an escort whenever he can convince him to follow him >around. Unfortunately, this has digressed to the point where he has reverted >back to sleeping in my room again. This occurs distinctly at Non-bedtimes >and I gave up insisting that he sleep in his own room over three months ago >to see if these fears could gently recede but they have not. I recently let >him know that we are going to re-do his room to make it as ‘Friendly’ as >possible so he can begin sleeping in there again. >We have always done an elaborate bedtime ritual including storytime/prayers. >He loves Harry Potter books and actually reads them himself now. The main >character / story line often surrounds defeating/coping with magical >creatures in what seems like a healthy way. >I wanted any ideas on how to help him work through these fears. >Should I watch the movie w/him and try to sterilize the parts that have >surely grown greatly in his imagination ??? >Other movies like Men In Black haven’t bothered him. >Thanx.
Response:
I need to start this off by saying I hope you and your ex would take this as a learning experience and not let him watch R-rated movies in the near future. He is 7 for heavens sake! R-rated movies are intended for a more mature viewer. That said, I do not think that watching it with him again would be a good idea. I had a aunt who made me sit through a horror flick (age 5) twice to "help me loose my fear." It only magnified it! I would ask him what he thinks would make him feel safer. Maybe a spray bottle with "mummy be gone" on the lable? Or a good luck charm or madialon? My parents let me leave a small bedroom light on at bed time until I got over my fears. It took about 8 months, and even after I could turn off the light I had to have the door open and hall light on for years. It’s his imagination that is getting to him. The Sixth Sense got to me recently. Took me a few days to get over it (it didn’t help that I recently learned a girl, age 3, died in my daughter’s bedroom. Don’t know if I would have purchase this home had I known earlier.) Imagination is a difficult thing to battle, and will take imagination on your part. Logic will not win this battle. Liz
Response:
>Hi EveryOne… >I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our >problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or >so ago…..
Just my opinion, but a 7 year old shouldn’t have been watching "the Mummy" in the first place.
Response:
I saw that movie last weekend and it scared the pants off me. My pet peeve and I really really hate this…is PARENTS WHO LET THEIR KIDS WATCH HORROR MOVIES, OR ANY OTHER MOVIE THAT IS FOR ADULTS! Have I made myself clear? The damage is already done. I suppose there is nothing but time that will heal this poor child’s memory of the movie. Do things that will draw his attention away from it. Take him to a very family friendly movie and maybe he will remember that one more than the last. I would also be cautious of the Harry Potter books. I haven’t read them myself, nor have my children, but I hear they can be quite cultish in nature. Is it possible the combination of the two, is what has sparked his fear? Just a thought. I would keep my eye on that. (Please, posters…I am not saying Harry Potter books are bad, I am simply suggesting a comment I heard…as I already mentioned I have not much more info. about these books than heresay.) Poor little fella. Give him a hug for us. I would talk to his Mom, by the way about what he should be allowed to watch…put your foot down. That is so terrible to do that to a child. — zipper For lots of parenting tips and other useful information regarding childcare, visit my website! http://www.angelfire.com/country/daycare/index.html – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hi EveryOne… >I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our >problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or >so ago….. >Just my opinion, but a 7 year old shouldn’t have been watching "the Mummy" in >the first place.
Response:
A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother about movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 (the first one scared ME!). What can you do about your son’s fears now? Try a little Mummy Spray (spray bottle with water and some essential oil to make it smell lovely). Or you could try finding something like the Making of the mummy, and show him how they did it, and that it really isn’t real. You could always take him to a childrens theatre (with live actors or puppets) and then after the show take him backstage to meet the *characters* and show him that they were pretending. Just some ideas, I’d definatly talk to the mother though. She should have never let him watch it (but you probably know that) Jenn – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi EveryOne… > I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our > problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or > so ago and has persistently expressed fears related to it ever since. He > doesn’t mention Nightmare’s per se but is constantly afraid to travel about > the house un-attended: especially his bedroom. > I’ve tried: > 1. Rationally discussing the ‘pretend’ nature of the movie in the past. > 2. Escorting him while adding greater and greater distances between us, but > he will revert back to square one, over and over. > 3. Discussed w/him ideas he might have to combat these fears as far as > lights and re-arranging things but so far no luck. > He uses our dog as an escort whenever he can convince him to follow him > around. Unfortunately, this has digressed to the point where he has reverted > back to sleeping in my room again. This occurs distinctly at Non-bedtimes > and I gave up insisting that he sleep in his own room over three months ago > to see if these fears could gently recede but they have not. I recently let > him know that we are going to re-do his room to make it as ‘Friendly’ as > possible so he can begin sleeping in there again. > We have always done an elaborate bedtime ritual including storytime/prayers. > He loves Harry Potter books and actually reads them himself now. The main > character / story line often surrounds defeating/coping with magical > creatures in what seems like a healthy way. > I wanted any ideas on how to help him work through these fears. > Should I watch the movie w/him and try to sterilize the parts that have > surely grown greatly in his imagination ??? > Other movies like Men In Black haven’t bothered him. > Thanx.
Response:
> >Hi EveryOne… >I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our >problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or >so ago….. > Just my opinion, but a 7 year old shouldn’t have been watching "the Mummy" in > the first place.
Mine too, but this is yet another of the natural consequences of a child having two homes at age 7. The dad can’t do much about it now.
Response:
Bret, You’ve gotten some good suggestions. A couple of things that might work. There was a Wishbone episode (Frankenstien) where they did a good job of showing how they create the monster make up. They explained each step in the process and at the end did a series of photos of the actor going through each step of the "transformation." Something like that might help him to see that the mummy was just an actor in make up. Something that has worked with my children in the past was to find a movie where that same actor that was a bad guy plays something else. I know I have seen the guy who played the mummy in other things. But can’t for the life of me remember what. (Well, I remember that he was in the sequel to "Dark Man" but that’s another scary one. :-{) And take some time to explain about actors and how they are just telling a story by pretending. Now, all of that said, he is having trouble because to a 6 year old, anything they watch on TV, in the movies, etc. is very REAL. Even though a part of their mind understands that it is only a movie, they still have that ability to totally suspend their disbelief. I’ve done lots and lots of children’s theater. So I’m very familiar with this. (Was even before my kids came along.) Have you seen the movie too without him? In the end, they make the mummy mortal again with a spell from a magic book. After that, he gets in a sword fight with Brandon Fraser’s character and is killed. You might take that approach. You know, "Well the mummy can’t possibly hurt you. You see, he was the ONLY ONE that could come back to life, and he got killed at the end of the movie. So there is no way he could come back again because he lost all his magic powers too." I know it sounds really silly, but it might work. "The Black Cauldron" scared the bejeepers out of my daughter. (She’s 7.) She told me several times that she was afraid the Horned King would come get her. I asked her what happened to him at the end of the movie. She said, "Well he got DESTROYED." (A favorite word of hers. lol) I then asked if he had been destroyed was there still any reason to be afraid of him. She said "well, no. I guess not." That was the last we heard of the Horned King. Poof! Not afraid of him any more. So I know it sounds goofy, but it did work that time. It’s understandable that a 6 year old is having trouble with this. It doesn’t say anything negative about him at all. It says that he has a wonderful imagination. And that’s never a bad thing. You might even take it one step further. A lot of parents on here have talked about "monster spray" (usually water in a spray bottle) their kids can use as a repellent for monsters under the bed, etc. Since in this case the thing that was used was a book of spells, you could make him one. Just make a little book and put things in it like "My room is safe. Safe it is." Whatever. Just make up little rhymes that would fit with making him feel safe, and able to sleep in his bed. Give it to him and let him read aloud from it at bedtime. Whatever works is a good thing. I hope you find something to get him over this soon. Keep us posted on how he does and what you decide to do. Good luck!! Sharon – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi EveryOne… > I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our > problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or > so ago and has persistently expressed fears related to it ever since. He > doesn’t mention Nightmare’s per se but is constantly afraid to travel about > the house un-attended: especially his bedroom.
Response:
>Try a little Mummy Spray (spray >bottle with water and some essential oil to make it smell lovely).
When my son, out of the blue, came down and said there were monsters in his room we did two things. We first told him there was no such thing as monsters and he was safe in his room but if he would feel better we’d spray some of the bug spray in his room. His room needed a bit of Lysol anyway. Kendra Proud to be "Outlandish"! http://www.crosswinds.net/~graphicsbykendra http://www.crosswinds.net/~outlandish *Something to consider* "Amatures built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."
Response:
>A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t >much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother about >movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 (the >first one scared ME!).
Sorry to veer off-topic a little, but I can’t for the life of me remember anything in Toy Story that would scare anyone. What was it that scared you? L. — Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
Response:
I wonder what was scary in Toy Story too, my 2 year old watches it EVERY DAY (fun for me) and I can’t think of a really scary part either. He sure isnt scared of it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t >much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother >about >movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 >(the >first one scared ME!). >Sorry to veer off-topic a little, but I can’t for the life of me >remember anything in Toy Story that would scare anyone. >What was it that scared you?
Response:
I’m glad someone else felt this way… Toy Story is my 2 year old’s favorite also! Marion—tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I wonder what was scary in Toy Story too, my 2 year old watches it EVERY DAY >(fun for me) and I can’t think of a really scary part either. He sure isnt >scared of it. >A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t >>much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother >about >>movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 >(the >>first one scared ME!). >Sorry to veer off-topic a little, but I can’t for the life of me >remember anything in Toy Story that would scare anyone. >What was it that scared you?
Response:
I don’t hink it is scary nor my two yo…maybe it is the idea of the toys actually being alive that scare her?? Jenn
:I wonder what was scary in Toy Story too, my 2 year old watches it EVERY DAY 
fun for me) and I can’t think of a really scary part either. He sure isnt :scared of it. : : :>A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t :>>much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother :>about :>>movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 :>(the :>>first one scared ME!). :> :>Sorry to veer off-topic a little, but I can’t for the life of me :>remember anything in Toy Story that would scare anyone. :> :>What was it that scared you? : :
Response:
The creepy dolls next door. That didn’t scare anyone else! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I wonder what was scary in Toy Story too, my 2 year old watches it EVERY DAY > (fun for me) and I can’t think of a really scary part either. He sure isnt > scared of it. >A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t >>much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother >about >>movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 >(the >>first one scared ME!). >Sorry to veer off-topic a little, but I can’t for the life of me >remember anything in Toy Story that would scare anyone. >What was it that scared you?
Response:
Angel here > Hi EveryOne… > I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our > problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or > so ago and has persistently expressed fears related to it ever since.
I made my mom turn it off back in October. My 4 was way too interested. We went back to Prince of Egypt. Sometimes PG-13 is innocuous, sometimes it’s way too intense. We too did ok with MiB. However, around 3, my daughter developed a fear of monsters. We did 3 big things. 1) She was given a fly swatter, and told it was magic and would clobber the monsters. 2) I did a purge of her room. Mama is a bard, bards are magic. I recited The Monster Words (Shamelessly stolen from King’s _Cujo_ "Monsters stay out of this room…") and swept my staff under furniture, into closets and corners and all over. 3) We hung a dream catcher, and reduced her monster intake. It passed. Now she handles most monsters fine. I refuse to say anything is make-believe, but we do take the approach "It’s just a movie. And movies are like pictures in a book. They can’t hurt us." Angel, who still has Zombie-Fear from _Night of the Living Dead_
Response:
>The creepy dolls next door. That didn’t scare anyone else!
Those didn’t bother me, but I *was* a little freaked out when the toys went after Sid near the end! Tara P
Response:
We’ve always used the monster spray approach (vanilla air freshener). Anything that gives the child power over what he/she is afraid of. I allow only some PG13 for my 61/2 yo. He loved both Jurassic Park movies as well as Godzilla, but I didn’t let him see MIB because of some of the language. I told him right off that he couldn’t go see Mummy and he accepted it. BTW Angel…your sign-off took me back a few years, but the one that got me was Night’s sequel…Dawn of the Dead. Saw it at the midnight show in a shopping mall…not a good idea! LOL Marion—tampamom to Louis(6) and Erica(2) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Angel here >I made my mom turn it off back in October. >My 4 was way too interested. We went back to Prince of Egypt. >Sometimes PG-13 is innocuous, sometimes it’s way too intense. >We too did ok with MiB. >However, around 3, my daughter developed a fear of monsters. >We did 3 big things. >1) She was given a fly swatter, and told it was magic and would clobber >the monsters. >2) I did a purge of her room. Mama is a bard, bards are magic. I >recited >The Monster Words (Shamelessly stolen from King’s _Cujo_ "Monsters stay >out >of this room…") and swept my staff under furniture, into closets and >corners >and all over. >3) We hung a dream catcher, and reduced her monster intake. >Angel, who still has Zombie-Fear from _Night >of the Living Dead_
Response:
Anyone else remember with dread an *ancient* b+w movie called something like "Cat Among the Pigeons" ? Saw that when I was very young — still have visions of hands coming out of the "secret panel" in the wall behind my bed to strangle me in my sleep … Yeeeuch. –Janet Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Angel here > Hi EveryOne… > I’m a single parent who has a very wonderfully imaginative young boy. Our > problem is that he saw the Horror movie "The Mummy" at his Mom’s 6 months or > so ago and has persistently expressed fears related to it ever since. > I made my mom turn it off back in October. > My 4 was way too interested. We went back to Prince of Egypt. > Sometimes PG-13 is innocuous, sometimes it’s way too intense. > We too did ok with MiB. > However, around 3, my daughter developed a fear of monsters. > We did 3 big things. > 1) She was given a fly swatter, and told it was magic and would clobber > the monsters. > 2) I did a purge of her room. Mama is a bard, bards are magic. I > recited > The Monster Words (Shamelessly stolen from King’s _Cujo_ "Monsters stay > out > of this room…") and swept my staff under furniture, into closets and > corners > and all over. > 3) We hung a dream catcher, and reduced her monster intake. > It passed. > Now she handles most monsters fine. > I refuse to say anything is make-believe, but > we do take the approach "It’s just a movie. And > movies are like pictures in a book. They > can’t hurt us." > Angel, who still has Zombie-Fear from _Night > of the Living Dead_
Response:
> We too did ok with MiB.
Wasn’t Men in Black rated R? What was "The Mummy" rated? Does everyone just disreguard the ratings? J Before you buy.
Response:
We do the same thing with my son. We also made a large sign and posted it on his door…"No Monsters Allowed!" Makes him feel a little better. His thoughts of monsters are very real to him. — zipper For lots of parenting tips and other useful information regarding childcare, visit my website! http://www.angelfire.com/country/daycare/index.html – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Try a little Mummy Spray (spray >bottle with water and some essential oil to make it smell lovely). >When my son, out of the blue, came down and said there were monsters in his >room we did two things. We first told him there was no such thing as monsters >and he was safe in his room but if he would feel better we’d spray some of the >bug spray in his room. His room needed a bit of Lysol anyway. >Kendra >Proud to be "Outlandish"! >http://www.crosswinds.net/~graphicsbykendra >http://www.crosswinds.net/~outlandish >*Something to consider* >"Amatures built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."
Response:
The part of the mean boy, (can’t remember his name) when he was torturing the toys…and dismembered toys were walking all around the room. My son reacted to this scene. But he has watched the move a hundred times and he enjoys it nonetheless. — zipper For lots of parenting tips and other useful information regarding childcare, visit my website! http://www.angelfire.com/country/daycare/index.html – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->A 7 year old shouldn’t watch the Mummy. But he did, and there probably wasn’t >much you could do about it. You might want to have a talk with the mother about >movies in the future. I’m not even letting my daughter watch Toy Story 2 (the >first one scared ME!). >Sorry to veer off-topic a little, but I can’t for the life of me >remember anything in Toy Story that would scare anyone. >What was it that scared you? >L. >– >Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
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> >The creepy dolls next door. That didn’t scare anyone else! > Those didn’t bother me, but I *was* a little freaked out when the toys went > after Sid near the end! > Tara P
LOL My two kids were cheering for the toys when they went after Sid. They didn’t understand the reference to "The Exorcist" when Woody’s head spun all the way around. (Since there is no way they are going to watch that movie!!) But I sure did and I got a little giggle out of it. I think the thing I liked most about BOTH Toy Story movies was the way they were written with things like that in there. They were obviously written for parents and children to watch TOGETHER without either group being bored or insulted. Too a fun part in Toy Story 2, was the cameo appearance by Geri. He was in the short at the beginning of "Bug’s Life." When he popped up in TS2, my 3 year old son said, "Hey, it’s the guy with the teeth that plays in the park!!" lol Sharon
Response:
Angel here > We too did ok with MiB. > Wasn’t Men in Black rated R?
Nope, PG-13. And I screened it before letting the kids see it. The language was no worse than what they were hearing at school. And it was at least grammatically correct (which most at school is not). We explain that nice people do not talk that way. The violence was so fantasy level that the kids had no problem. Maybe it’s ironic: I’ll let them see MiB, with blue entrails blown over the landscape, but I won’t let them watch _Lion in Winter_ because of psychological violence. > What was "The Mummy" rated?
PG-13, also. > Does everyone just disreguard the ratings?
I use them as a guide. My kids do not see R rated movies. Period. These days I seldom see R-rated movies, as the vulgarity of the language assaulting my ears is seldom worth the story line. Eventually, worthwhile ones like Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan will make their watch list. But they can wait until they are 17 to see things like Devil’s Advocate and Rosemary’s Baby. They do not see graphically violent PG-13 or PG movies. Fistfights upset me more than laser pistols. I would not let the watch _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_ {pg} (too gross) but _Jurassic Park_ {Pg-13} was not an issue. _Dracula: Dead and Loving it_ was too gory. (Esp since my arm had gone gusher at the dr’s the week before) But Tod Browning’s _Dracula_ was fine. My daughter got bored. G movies get screened, and well. My kids have no Disney problems. NR stuff gets checked out very thoroughly. Danny Kaye movies work. Marx brothers, we’re more careful on. _My Little Chickadee_ and _Birth of a Nation_ can wait until they are older. Angel, more lenient than her own folks were.
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<snip description> I can tell you what we’ve done with our 3 1/2 year old son when he’s seen things like that (we don’t let him watch movies of that type, but he’s caught bits and pieces of them and of TV shows I watch like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" before we’ve had a chance to turn them off): We’ve taken the route of explaining that it’s all pretend, that it’s a real person dressed as a monster, but they put on make-up ("like mommy?" "no, not really") and pretend to be monsters. Then we explain how there are no real monsters in the world and that TV is alot of pretend. Then we’ve compared it to some of his video tapes, especially "Look There Goes a [whatever]". We tell him that the monsters are pretend just like Dave on his video tapes only pretends to be a monster truck driver/fireman/policeman/EMT/construction foreman/etc. Now when he sees anything like that, he just says it’s only pretend. He’s never, to my knowledge, had a bad dream or irrational fear because of them. Is mise le meas, | Visit the #gaeilge website at http://welcome.to/gaeilge | | "What do you care what other people think, Mr. Feynman?" | | Unsolicited email to this address is acceptance of a $500 per day | | storage fee to be paid within 30 days of the sending of the email. |
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